Thread: NEW BORDER PATROL DRESS CODE

NEW STANDARD DRESS CODE FOR FIELD AGENTS OF THE UNITED STATES BORDER PATROL SERVICE

EFFECTIVE FEBUARY 15, 2007
By order of the President of the United States, and the Department of Homeland Security, at the request of our most favored trade partner the nation of Mexico.

All Border Patrol Agents will report to work wearing the new style uniforms beginning February 15th 2007.

It has been brought to the Presidents attention, that the currant style of dress by our border agents, presents an image of intimidation, and racism to the good citizens of Mexico, who frequently cross our nations southern borders to do jobs that Americans won’t do.

We as a kind and compassionate neighbor, to one of our strongest allies in the war on terrorism, have chosen to comply with the request submitted by Vicente Fox at the Texas Summit, that was agreed to, and signed in 2006 at the Crawford Ranch in Texas last Summer.

Furthermore there has been an additional change in the equipment that the Border Patrol Agents, are allowed to carry, while on the job. “Below are two list“ In the first list, are the items that the Border Patrol Agents are required to carry, and in the second is a list of “Unauthorized items that the Agents are strictly forbidden to carry.

Any Border Patrol Agent found in violation of the new dress code, and or the possession of any unauthorized equipment, will be subject to arrest, loss of job, and all benefits, a ($15.000.00) fine, and incarceration in a Federal Correctional Facility, for not less than (20) twenty years at hard labor.

AUTHORISED ITEMS LIST
*1. A canteen of drinking water, attached to the belt, and 15 gallons of spring water, in your vehicle.
*2. A map of the United States, written in Spanish.
*3. A bag of 12 fresh Burritos, 8 cans of re-fried beans, and 1 pkg of Tortillas (20 count)
*4. One case of baby diapers, that’s 1 case of each size available, and 10 containers of baby wipes.
*5. One case of dried powdered baby formula, and 2 cases of new still in their wrapper plastic baby bottles.
*6. A Spanish language phone directory for the area you are patrolling.

UN-AUTHORISED ITEMS LIST
*1. Handguns.
*2. Rifles.
*3. Shotguns
*4. Any ammunition.
*5. Knifes, hatchets, swords, machetes, fingernail files, box cutters, sharp pencils, rocks (etc.)
*6. Two Way Radios, or Cell Phones, or any other kind of communication devices.
*7. Binoculars, spotting scopes, or night vision equipment.
*8. Handcuffs, plastic tie wraps, rope, wire.

A word about the new uniforms, and their design, and style

The office of Home Land Security, chose a style of uniform, that will appear less intimidating, and threatening to our special foreign visitors, and guest. It is rugged, yet comfortable, and most eye pleasing, this Ultimate Politically Correct design, was rated as number one, in a surveyed of 10.000 local citizens in the city where our contractors manufacturing plant is located (San Francisco CA.) and the President feels it is in good taste, and appropriate for the job he wants done on our southern borders.





B.O.R.

This is not to far off!

Oh my gosh, that is so funny.