Obama Closing Dept of Education

President also ends Planned Parenthood funding, cancels Iran deal

by Gabrielle Abdelnour

It’s looking to be an ambitious final term for President Obama as he tries to fit as much in as he possibly can. Today specifically, with
praise from conservative leaders across the country, Obama has introduced a slew of casual yet controversial changes to his administration’s agenda.

Better late than never, right?

1. Rescinds Executive Action on Amnesty



Seeing as how he's been making a mockery of congress, Obama thought it might be time to retract his amnesty overreach. Shoot, since
he's almost out of office some questions of legality might hit the surface. It can't hurt to be overly cautious.

2. Obama Pauses Normalization with Cuba



Obama's visit to Cuba was just a publicity stunt. Don't get us wrong, he has every intention of regaining a better relationship with Cuba, just not until they
address their human rights issues.

3. Closing the Department of Education



Since Obama has been all about reducing the national debt, it would only make sense to cut the department that heavily contributes to our crippling situation, right? If there's
no Department of Education, there can't be federal student loans — problem solved!

4. War on EPA



Bet you never saw this coming! Obama recently announced the resignation of Gina McCarthy. He didn't like that she was ruining most of his eight years of supposedly
trying to help average folks by waging a politically motivated war on the coal industry.

5. Wait … Nevermind!



Obama cancels his plan to close GITMO. Just think: everyone is migrating to the United States anyway, so what's the rush?

6. Calling Bogey



Obama pledged to not golf any more until ISIS is destroyed. Way to take one for the team, Mr. President! Oh, he also gave up the whole "ISIL" concept, seeing
as he was the only one using the term.

7. Cancels the Iran Deal



President Obama recently realized that the Iran Deal isn't such a great deal after all. Let's be real, who has the time to babysit their
nuclear development science project anyway, right? Plus, a little risk never killed anyone ...

8. Hillary in Hot Water



Obama finally admits that Hillary's FBI investigation is actually a big deal. After months of complicating things for the Feds, he has decided to step aside.
It's like: how could she be so careless with the lives of the American people?

9. Halts Planned Parenthood



The president has had a change of heart since he last vetoed a bill to de-fund Planned Parenthood. He signed an Executive order that halted any
federal grants to Planned Parenthood — this all took place after he finally took a moment to watch the videos of the organization selling aborted baby body parts.

10. Halts Syrian Migrant Program



Until ISIS is stopped and his golf games are back in session, no one is allowed in the United States.
Those are the consequences.



LAST SLIDE: Just kidding, this list of things would only happen if Obama was a decent president and/or decent
human being. Happy April Fools' Day!