New Company opening in your neighborhood soon!

[kdreger]

I think I will seek some funding or maybe grant money to start up a new and innovative idea for a company.

I call it the "All American Store Chain"

We will ONLY advertise in ENGLISH
We sill ONLY sell products made and grown in the USA
We will only hire Legal American Citizens
We will pay above the minimum wage
We will provide full medical, dental coverage for the workers and their immediate family members (No grannies & grandpas, nieces, etc)
We will provide scholarships for our employees to be used in local colleges IF they study courses that we approve of and that will help our business model.
We will give each full time employee ONE full month of vacation each year.
We will give part time employees who work over 20+ hours per week 2 weeks of vacation each year.
We will offer to EVERY employee a 401 100% matching by the company after the first week of employment.
We will offer full paid life insurance policies to every employee for the amount of $50,000.
We will restrict all employees to a maximum of 40 hour of work per week.
We will require that all managers be paid the same rate no matter what title they have. $60,000/yr
All corporate officers will also have the same rate of pay, $65,000/yr.
We will also pay for child rearing as long as it is within the limits of our own child care facility at each location.
We will provide pet sitting facilities for those who do not have children! at no cost.
We will require you to give the company written permission for random drug test screening, and you will waive any rights to refuse testing or be terminated.
We will also require you to take random drug testing without any notice, if you fail any of these drug tests you will be terminated immediately, and all funds you have in your retirement funds will be forfeited, and returned to the corporation for equal distribution to charities chosen by collective agreement of the employees.
Any person convicted of 2 or misdemeanors will not be eligible for employment.
All computers will be made to inspection at the will of the company, and if ANY porn material is found on the employees computer, that employee will be terminated and turned over to law enforcement.
We will require you to retire at the age of 65.
We will observe all standard federal holidays, xmas, easter, thanks giving, presidents day, memorial day, 4th of July etc...No national humcumba jumbola day, no cinco demayo...
We also will provide to all employees a credit union for employees while they are employed at the company.
We will also assist in discounts for autos & vacations to all employees.
We will also have fence building crews available for contract at standard labor wages for contracting to the federal government.

If you are interested in participating in this new venture please submit your qualifications to ME.

Ken
:P :P :P

[redpony353]

Will the misdemeanor violations include arrests related to political activism?

And you know.....drug testing is kind of a human rights violation.

Will the people working for you who dont have children be given another benefit to replace the child care benefit?

[Jrhino]

Strangely, the government job I retired from had most of what you state. It does build longengevity and loyalty to job.

Even with these benifits, how your company and its people work together internally and interacts with customers makes the difference in productivity and job satisfaction.