Thread: Don't say mum and dad... teachers told not to assume

Don't say mum and dad... teachers told not to assume pupils have heterosexual parents

By LAURA CLARK - More by this author »

Last updated at 10:48am on 30th January 2008

Comments (92)

Teachers should not assume that their pupils have a "mum and dad" under guidance aimed at tackling anti-gay bullying in schools.

It says primary pupils as young as four should be familiarised with the idea of same-sex couples to help combat homophobic attitudes.

Teachers should attempt to avoid assumptions that pupils will have a conventional family background, it urges.


Pupils are enlisted in the war on homophobia
It goes on to suggest the word "parents" may be more appropriate than "mum and dad", particularly in letters and emails to the child's home.

When discussing marriage with secondary pupils, teachers should also educate pupils about civil partnerships and gay adoption rights.

The guidance - produced for the Government by gay rights group Stonewall - will be formally launched today by Schools Secretary Ed Balls.

It states that children who call classmates "gay" should be treated the same as racists as part of a "zero tolerance" crackdown on the use of the word as an insult.

Teachers should avoid telling boys to "be a man" or accuse them of behaving like a "bunch of women".

This sort of rebuke "leads to bullying of those who do not conform to fixed ideas about gender", the guidance states.

At the same time, schools should encourage gay role models among staff, parents and governors. Homosexual staff should be able to discuss their private lives after the consultation with the head teacher.

In advice to gay staff, it states: "School culture and ethos determines how open staff are about their private lives, and you should therefore seek advice and guidance from your head."

The Department for Children, Schools and Families commissioned Stonewall to write the guidance jointly with lobby group Education Action Challenging Homophobia.

It says that pupils aged four to seven should "understand that not all pupils have a mum and a dad" and learn about different family structures.

Advice to teachers of 11 to 14-year-olds states: "Schools should make efforts to talk inclusively about same-sex parents, for example, avoid assuming all pupils will have a "mum and dad".

"When schools discuss marriage, they may also discuss civil partnership and adoption rights for gay people."

In a section on engaging with parents, it asks schools: "Do you talk about 'parents' instead of assuming all pupils have 'mum or a dad'?"

The advice goes on to urge teachers to challenge every derogatory use of the word gay to avert homophobic attitudes.

Examples include "those trainers are so gay", "that pencil case is so gay" or "you're such a gay boy".

One primary teacher quoted in the guidance said: "We hear 'gay' as a term of abuse every single day. The children may not know exactly what it means, but they know they are using it as an insult. That's why we need to tackle it at this stage."

Controversy over the semantics of the word erupted two years ago when the BBC ruled that Radio One DJ Chris Moyles was not being offensive to homosexuals by using the word "gay" to mean "rubbish".

The advice says: "It is important for all staff to challenge pupils, explaining the consequences of using 'gay' in a derogatory way.

"It might be time-consuming at first, but a consistent 'zero-tolerance' approach to such language is central to achieving progress and an environment in which being gay is not thought of as being inferior."

It adds: "Schools need to make it clear to pupils that homophobic comments are as serious as racist comments, and homophobic incidents are as serious as other forms of bullying."

Teachers should use every curriculum subject to nip discriminatory attitudes in the bud.

English lessons for teenagers, for example, could focus on the emotions of the gay Italian soldier Carlo in Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

The guidance is being published five years after the repeal of Section 28 - the law which banned the promotion of homosexuality in schools.

Ministers promised the move would make no difference to the teaching of homosexual matters but some critics have claimed the gay lobby is having a growing influence on pupils.

Next month is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender History Month, where pupils learn about apparently gay figures from history including Leonardo da Vinci, Oscar Wilde and James Dean.

Mr Balls, who will launch the anti-bullying guidance at a Stonewall conference today, said: "I am proud the Government and the department are being robust about this.

"It is our view that every school should have a clear policy on tackling all forms of bullying, including homophobic bullying."


Make gym kit more fashionable to get girls doing PE, says minister


Gym kit: Short skirts could soon be a thing of the past
• Schools should allow girls to ditch short gym skirts to encourage more to take part in sport, a minister declared yesterday.

Children's Secretary Ed Balls warned that many teenage girls were dropping out of PE lessons because they found regulation kits off-putting.

Schools should consider introducing kits that are "sensitive" to their fashion sense, he said.

Mr Balls added that while more children should be encouraged to play competitive sport at schools, teachers should also offer alternatives such as dance and yoga.

Speaking at a draw for an under-13s football competition in London, the minister said there was a "real issue with girls in secondary schools" not wanting to take part in PE.

Individual schools must decide the most suitable designs for their PE kits, he said.

"But the surveys show that for early teenage girls, having to wear particular mandated PE kits can be really off-putting," he added.

"The right thing is for schools to be sensitive about this and to consult young people.

"The old idea that you have got to wear a short gym skirt is for many young people a recipe to forget your kit."

He admitted that although school sport was about "taking part" it was also about experiencing competition - "wanting to win - and also learning to lose".

He added: "This is all part of life and it's what sport can help teach you."

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Comments (92)

92 people have commented on this story so far. Tell us what you think below.

I wasn't aware the Liberal party were in power. It seems every mainstream party is the Liberal party now.

- Adam, Leeds, UK

Am I alone in finding the government's obsession with indoctrinating young people sinister?

- Roger Eve, London

Are we leaning too far the other way? I'd like to know how many gay couples have children and what the proportion of gay people is in the population as a whole. I don't believe that homophobia is an issue at all amongst schoolchildren - and teachers have better things to discuss.

- Rosemary, England

Shame that they cannot teach about equality isn't it? But then there is no equality these days, it is all about favouring minority groups.

- Sid, Cornwall

Thank god I left the UK and am educating my children away from this claptrap.

- Roger A . Mann, Miami USA

What a load of claptrap. No wonder this country is in such a state-Heaven forbid it should be assumed that pupils are part of a normal family unit.

- Peter, Kings lynn

Why now? My children’s father is deceased and they were told to make Easter/Christmas/Fathers Day cards at school... where was the compassion for the children there. Does it take gay/lesbian support to get children’s rights?

- Cary, UK

Boys will be obliged to dress as girls and visa versa, we are becoming a neutral society created by do gooders why can’t they leave people alone.
Its only a matter of time before people s names will be replaced by id numbers or the Brussels whiz kids decide what names you are allowed to use.

- Robert Horne, UK

I really am concerned about this sort of ideology being taught to unassuming children. Honestly, people can't be born in same-sex partnerships, so the logical assumption is that they have a mother and a father, and if they don't then they have a problem.

- Mike, UK

How times have changed. I fondly look back on being able to call other pupils "gay" as a light-hearted, inoffensive and sometimes endearing comment.

I look forward to sending my children to school overseas where they can grow up normally without treading on eggshells.

As a side note, if UK schools are spending so much time teaching political correctness - when will they be able to teach English and Maths?

- An, UK

Take our kids out of this PC madhouse - PLEASE.

- John, Manchester

More hogwash to put in their little brains! It's normal to have a mum and dad, lets face it you have to start off with a mum and dad, some children have other living arrangements and it's all right to discuss this but these poor kids won't know what normal is anymore.

- Alicia , UK

Enough is enough, every time this idiot Balls opens his mouth he slices another piece of the fabric of marriage and family. This has to be sabotage to undermine the foundations of the nations people. To treat gays, lesbians or other group as sacred cows whose idiosyncrasies or deficiencies must dictated the values of the majority is cultural suicide.

- Alexander, UK

Perhaps before preaching about being discriminatory, this government should take a look at its own policies and laws which are introduced, i.e. MPs are exempt on RIPA law, pay-as-you-throw taxes and the smoking ban in members lounge, they discriminate between private and public sector pensions, the list is endless. What happened to good old fashioned discipline, where a child did as they were told, not given the choice to design their own PE kit! Being sensitive to a child’s needs does not mean giving into their demands.

- Les, Southport, England

Exactly when will this Government make homosexuality compulsory? Are there any votes to be won with a policy like this being stuffed down our throats?

- Fred James, Worcester

And for goodness sake, don’t say blackboard!

- Stephen, UK

Have any of these teachers (or their political masters) ever read a little book called "1984"....?

Poor old George - he got the date wrong by 24 years!

- Sandy, UK

Those constituents who voted for Ed Balls to be their MP should be hanging their heads in shame.

What planet is this man on?

- Paul, Alnwick, UK.

Unless I am mistaken, a father is still required for a child to be born. Are we to understand that the PC brigade are trying to ignore this fact?

- Lou, UK

Why don't we all stand in a separate room with no social interaction with anyone then that way nobody can say the wrong thing to offend us? It goes from bad to worse. Who are these people coming up with this rubbish, they should be named and shamed.

- Sue Delaney, Worthing,West Sussex

Sounds like something sensible is coming out of the government's advice, who said the age of wonders was over...

- Gemma K, UK

never knew Jimmy D was a poof

- Paul Corrigan, france

It never ends.

How about we just dress little boys up in pink frilly dresses, to combat homophobia?

It's only fair...


- Dino Fancellu, Epsom

It seems that every single day that a story emerges that represents everything I hate about the Nanny State and the political correctness, of this pathetic country that we call
"Great Britain", Please Mr.Littlejohn give us your view, because all I can say is thank god at this time next year ill no longer be living here, whether your gay or lesbian, does it matter? Aren’t they still your parents, why create a problem if it doesn’t exist?

- Sean Mcvicar, Dundee, Scotland

Once upon a time the word gay was used to describe someone as a happy cheerful individual. The word queer was used for someone or something that was odd or slightly strange. I rest my case! Perhaps reading and writing could be part of the children’s education and then they could learn the correct meaning of the word "gay" and also anything else relating to this absurd article. What a good idea, reading, writing and arithmetic might be just the thing in the future to teach in schools!

- Diane Baker, Devon, UK

When will this brainwashing madness by politicians who have no grasp on realty cease, kids get more and more confused everyday with all this mind control.

- Oliver, ( Ex-Pat), Netherlands

It will not be long before being a homosexual becomes compulsory. I will continue to say whatever I like and to hell with the PC idiots.

- Jim, UK

When I see rubbish like this, I'm very thankful that I don't have kids of school age who would be in the clutches of idiots like this fool Balls and today's PC nutters.

- Terence, Hereford

How gay, I mean sad.

Mum and Dad became an anachronism years ago as more and more kids are born to single mothers, due in part to the overweaning "kindness" of this government funded by the welfare state to bring up kids in this particular style.

Is the gay lobby too stupid to realise the present trend of bringing up children?

- Nigel Ford, Sussex

I would like to know the name and address of the person who told the teachers to say this. It should be for public consumption.

- M. J. Westwood, Brixham. Devon

(In the future) Advice to teachers of 11 to 14-year-olds states: "Schools should make efforts to talk inclusively about different - sex parents, for example, avoid assuming all pupils will have just a mother, father or single sex partners. They should use the term "mum and dad" occasionally so that these depraved children feel included.

- Roger, NRW, Germany

Sick! Sick! Sick! It’s the majority of the public who are not already dysfunctional took to protest against these twisted idiots - How dare they brainwash our children with filth.

I taking my children out of school - enough is enough!

- Layton, Neath, Wales

Why cannot teachers just get on with teaching instead of conforming with all this PC nonsense put out by this daft government?

- Keith Webb, Winchester UK

No wonder some schools struggle with teaching children the basic 3 R's when they have to contend with walking the minefield of this PC clap trap.

- Roy, Coulby Newham

Could the schools that adopt this policy have a title placed after them (i.e. PC) so that us parents can decide whether to send our children to a school which focuses on education over PC garbage like this?

- Carl, Clydach

As a teacher I have found this political correctness gone mad issue idiotic, teaching our children that young about same sex couples with children is as mad as if it is as come as heterosexual relationships. I have no problem with same sex couples but I do feel that as teachers it is up to the judgement of us to decide if it is appropriate. e.g. if it effects a child in the classroom or the school environment.

- Rachel Wayper, Derby, Uk

The communists are in control of the UK education system. I'm so glad I don't teach in the UK, this PC madness is pathetic!

- Maxine, Taipei, Taiwan

'told not to assume'. So they are allowed to assume the child has same sex parents. Is this where we are heading where all children are expected to have gay parents.

- Mickey V, Manchester UK

I feel sorry for the children of the modern time when everything is compromised. The PC brigade should remember not every single child comes to the world with single-sex parents. Not every child at eight wants to have sex.

Young children should be shielded from certain things and that is why we have watershed for TV viewing. Until they are a bit maturer, then we can expose them to something different which they should be taught does not mean BAD. Things and facts and emotions should be explained, not banned. How much can you ban? For a child of 5 to be told not to call his mum, mum, is just confusing for the poor soul. Young children should have some constants in their lives. They should be told later in life that there are different set-ups in different households and they should not be prejudiced. Just because some girl gets pregnant at 12 does not mean that all children at 8 should be taught sex.

- Mei, Romford

I GIVE UP! For goodness sake let kids be kids. We make them aware of differences by this do good attitude. It is the do gooders who are causing all the problems, not the children, and I think children could teach us a lot. By pointing out such differences children will only latch onto it and this will make it worse. Go away do gooders and get yourselves a life.

- Barbara Carter, Ipswich

PC gone mad. This is a step too far!

- A. M., Dorset

Who the hell are these people it is not the norm most children have mothers and fathers - take away the science and it takes two to make another one simple fact

- Eddie Oriordan, Wisbech

This 'war on homophobia' is getting to be ridiculous. For goodness sake, they're trying to make seven-year-olds politically oversensitive now. It has got to be as farcical as an Inspector Clouseau film. Don't they realise that a lot of people think they have gone over the top with many of their pet agendas. What about the dreadful CRIME wave, stopping that that is far more important than all this drivel about gender.

- Graham Forshaw, Preston, Lancs

You were thinking of 'metrosexual' when you wrote that, weren't you?

- Nigel, Lancs

How do 2 gay men make a baby? How do 2 lesbians make a baby?

- Adrian, Reading, UK

Schools should stick to the 3 R's. They should spend less time worrying about political correctness and more time worrying about teaching children what they are paid to do, to read and write.

- Trish, Hertfordshire

A minority group making rule that affect us all yet again this government has no backbone.

- Phil, Grimsby

I wonder what school teachers wanted to be before they became loosers?

- Jimpy, Lincoln

Stop trying to destroy the family. Stop this political correctness now before our society descends into complete chaos.

- Delbert, Basel, Switzerland

So it's normal to be gay. Let's encourage our children and educate them to except sin. The innocents of our children has been lost on top of all the other unnatural issues those bigots impose. Stop confusing our children and turning them into yobs. No wonder our children have lost faith in the playground.

- Suzan Gumush, Chislehurst

Oh please! None of this PC rubbish again, it is this government that is creating an anti homophobic attitude. There are many young people who leave school unable to read or write properly and do basic sums, how disgraceful! The government should concentrate on improving this instead of this ideological claptrap.

- Isabel, Buckinghamshire

This is just another PC clap trap. Time to put the PC types on a slow boat to China.

- Keith, Merseyside

I am a hetrosexual white married Scot of mixed sex parents living in England.
Does the fact that I have mentioned it now make me a homophobic racist.

- Fifthbridge, Nuneaton Warks.

Brainwashing.

- Alexander Macintyre, Yorkshire

Quite simply leave well alone. When will this Country learn not to meddle with people’s views. You can legislate all you like but you cannot change people’s basic views. The more they try to force their liberal views on the Yobs the worse they will react when out of school. In the early Seventies these same liberal well meaning fools banned competition in schools. The results are there for all to see (Obese young people). The school yobs will basically make life hell for Gay people out of school where they have no protection. Better to face banter in school where they are protected than get beaten by a moron out of school. Yes you can legislate against this type of person but to no avail. The BNP and similar are still going strong and will continue to do so as long as views are suppressed both good and bad.

- Den, London

I think I'll emigrate before they make it compulsory!

- Jake Williams, Chichester U.K.

Why do we need "positive" discrimination towards this subject. How about giving a rest to the "promotion" of sexuality in general. Let's get on with children just growing up with freedom of thought instead of swamping them with constant sexuality of any kind.

- John, Luxembourg

How many more loonies do we have to put up with?

- Andy_Filey, Filey North Yorkshire

The next step would be for us all to become neuter in gender. Forms should include a new box to tick: other or neuter.

- M.F., East Anglia

Nu Labour nu speak.

- Joe Mullen, London

The grooming and brainwashing continues.

- David Bourke, Rochester, England

Children from enlightened households would know and understand the dynamics of a modern family. There are a lot of stupid people who imbue and contaminate their children with racist and homophobic views. Schools need to address this and nip it in the bud. It also teaches children in a broader sense not to make assumptions about things. I'm so glad I had opened minded parents, which has enabled me to fit in comfortably within this ever-changing society.

- Elizabeth Collins, England

What drivel!

- Steve H, London

Where is this nonsense going to end. The more 'brilliant' ideas the Government comes up with the worse the situation becomes. Let people get on with their own lives and stop interfering.

- Bruce, Cambs.

"Not all children have a Mum and Dad". Immaculate conception, was it?

- Eva Maria Olsson-Barton, Tjarno, Sweden

JUST IN: Homosexuality to be made compulsory in schools.

- Andy, Barnsley

I believe that this government would like to see all us Heterosexual people leave this country and for the Homosexuals to remain.

- Richard, Berkhamsted

I don't know why the government doesn’t "go the whole hog" and make homosexuality and lesbianism compulsory.

- John, Epsom Surrey

The beginning of the end of the human race! All for what? So that some people can have their sex preferences made acceptable. Who next paedophiles? Why not?

- Winifred,, Newry, Ireland

Complete madness. Of course there should be an assumption that parents are heterosexual - because that is the NATURAL way that children are created.

- Ian King, UK

There's nothing wrong with making children aware of diverse lifestyles if it encourages tolerance. 40 years ago, it used to pain me to be encouraged to paint pictures of 'mum and dad' when I sat next to a child who had been deserted by her parents and was being brought up by her grandmother. A little thought for others should be something instilled in us from an early age.

- Jo, Newcastle

What a load of rubbish! Is there any wonder people are leaving the UK in their droves.

- Gaz, UK

For gods sake, what next?

You cannot mention brother or sister?

These people want putting up against a brick wall and shooting!

- Neil Robinson, Hartlepool, England

It was the homosexuals for heavens sake that hijacked the word gay, as opposed to the term queer.

Oh wait, maybe I've got that the wrong way round, but that's a bit too close to home on this subject.

The majority of the country couldn't give a fig what these people get up to. What we don't want is this utter nonsense thrown in our faces, and our children's day in day out.

Enough is enough.

- William Peden, Cumbernauld, Scotland UK

How insulting and offensive to normal families ones with mothers and fathers!

- Susan K, Colchester

Why is there the need to indoctrinate our children? Tolerance and good manners are all that is needed to create a society. This smacks of manipulation and is sinister and extreme and as far as I am aware the children don't belong to the State. Yet!

- Ag, Cheltenham Glos

It seems that if they tried to teach traditional Christan morality then they would be suspended, if not arrested.

- Burrator, St Sulpice. France

How long till we get known as 'parent one' and 'parent two', then it can go on to 'parent three, four and so on'. Then it will be 'child 0ne', child 'two' etc.
This government has strange ideas about family life. Barcode tattoos and micro-chips at birth are next.

- John, Tendring, England

Come the day of judgement, there will be a mass exodus to the nether regions! What a sick society this country has become. What happened to the wonderful proud country this once was?

- Diana Crichton, Basingstoke Hants

I think I have the answer to all of this. Why aren't we all officially classified as single/gay/coloured/parentless/disadvantaged/socially-challenged humans? And then we will sue every person who even suggests that we might be a normal human being as God made us? Would Ed Balls support us in this?

- Phil, Airdrie, Scotland

Equality is a much bigger issue than just gay rights. We still haven't begun to tackle the massive issue of sexism in this country and that affects a far greater proportion of the population.

- G Mac, Winchester

Everyone has a mum and a dad, whether or not they live with the child is another matter. Are the government now re-writing the laws of nature to suit their socialist/liberal agenda?

- Wen, England

What idiot thinks up these ideas?

- Dick Conway, UK

The onslaught upon heterosexuals is never ending, and Nu Labour has the extreme audacity to insult us all by pushing a law which could send someone to jail for 7 years for just standing up and telling the truth about these heterophobics in our society?

- Sally, France

Perhaps its time to leave... if this is the state of things to come then perhaps there is no need to live in this country any longer.

- Vik, London

Roger in Miami ... me too!

- Debra, France

More politically correct crap. I am sick of being asked for the name of my partner. I dont have a partner I have a wife. My wife has a husband. My children have a mum and dad just like I did. Do my comments offend anybody? Guess what, I couldnt care less.

- Derek, UK

This is the very reason this country is in the state it is, because of all these 'trendy wendy' 'radical rupert' views that are pushed out via the media as correct.

- Mullarkian, York

Welcome to Nu Labours new Loony-Left policy! Balls! Ed. Democracy is about the rule of the majority, not the minorities! We the people of this country have had enough of Labour's pandering to Muslims, migrants and Gays at the expense of the majority. They are welcome to the same rights as everyone else. However, making the majority change to fit the minority is discrimination. This crap doctrine was introduced by the Blair in emulation of Bill Clinton's positive discrimination laws that gave US minorities preference. However, last year The Supreme Court of the USA ruled these laws were illegal, unconstitutional the source of discrimination and the cause of much violence in America in the last decade. Trust Labour who loved the late Communist style governments that became defunct, to start a policy that has already been seen to be both wrong and the cause of majority hatred towards minorities!

- David Hamilton-Williams, East Grinstead/ Uk

Mums and dads who are stuck in the UK, don't neglect to unteach your children the PC indoctrination they are subjected to at Orwellian schools!

- Edward Beckett, Belfast, N.Ireland

Is it OK to mention that some parents are heterosexual? Or is that a step too far for the PC brigade?

- Gilbo Green, Abingdon, Oxon

This is one more piece of 'advice' that, as an ex-headteacher, I would 'advise' my staff to ignore.

- Mike, Pulborough, West Sussex

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We are starting this in California. Arnie signed it into law.

It's all part of the NWO.