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Speaking Immigration Truth To Fat Cats
By Don Feder
July 30, 2002

[Don Feder was a columnist for The Boston Herald for 19 years, where he wrote frequently on immigration. He is the author of A Jewish Conservative Looks at Pagan America and Who's Afraid of the Religious Right? Feder is currently doing political/media consulting through Don Feder Associates and planning to open a website soon.]

Stupid White Men is the title of Michael Moore’s latest screed against Republicans, corporations and anything to the right of Kim Jong Il. Still, Moore has a point (besides the one on his head). America is run by Caucasian dudes with large portfolios and low IQs. But, thanks to the immigration policies these dummies defend, not for long.

I recently addressed the annual high-dollar-donor event of a prominent, conservative group. Since I was their guest, it would be bad form to be more specific. Suffice it to say the group raises tons of money to save Western Civilization by cutting marginal tax rates.

I was asked to speak on an immigration panel as the designated ritual sacrifice. (Let’s all beat up the rotten, racist xenophobe so we can bask in our own nobility.)

The other panelists included two college professors–who, despite their disreputable occupations, actually made sense. One, in discussing the history of immigration, noted the Founding Fathers favored immigrants like themselves–of English stock, who shared their language and historical experience. The other, a second-generation Chinese-American, said: Look, if we’re to have immigration, for God’s sake let’s at least take in immigrants we can use, as opposed to those with fifth-grade educations, which we’re getting through family reunification.

The third panelist was a “conservative� writer whose shtick is blaming it all on our anti-assimilationist ethic. In essence, he argued that if we could only get rid of bilingualism, multiculturalism and anti-Americanism, we could easily absorb all of the untrained, uneducated, irredentists from south of the border who have absolutely no desire to learn our language, assimilate to our culture or identify with our nation. (That’s my interpretation of his position.)

Mr. Blame-it-on-Multiculturalism showed his true colors, when–in response to a question on dealing with illegal immigrants–he whined: Well, you can’t just round up these people in the middle of the night, “like fascists.�

Instead, he suggested making a deal with the left (can you guess what came next?): We’ll amnesty illegals and the Gephardts and Daschles will graciously give us effective control of our borders.

The Asian-American academic dryly responded that we made that deal in 1986, but (surprise!) the lefties didn’t keep their end of the bargain.

My race and gender grows stupider by the minute. Here was an individual who holds himself forth as a conservative, proclaiming that arresting those who break our laws and spit on the Constitution (not to mention jumping ahead of all the would-be legal immigrants standing patiently in line for years) is akin to gas chambers and torture cells.

As the cleanup speaker on the panel, I delivered one of my typically cogent and witty, but forceful critiques of the insanity of importing social Thalidomide. It ended with a call for a five-year moratorium while we rethink the whole bloody mess.

I was practically lynched.

The first hand that shot up was attached to the beefy arm of a venture capitalist who said I should move to France and join forces with Jean-Marie Le Pen. (I was tempted to respond–but then I’ll be an immigrant and I’ll have to hate myself.)

By advocating policies to maintain our national identity–by trying to keep out folks who think this country’s history is a wretched chronicle of slavery, genocide and exploitationâ€â€