Unwanted, unloved and possibly illegal … the great immigration van fiasco

It made little difference and could cause problems. Good work!


The immigration van campaign: ‘What we didn't know was that the entire campaign was legally questionable.' Photograph: Home Office/PA

• Is there anything else to say about the government's ill-fated wheeze to round up illegal migrants by asking via a billboard van for them to leave the country? Well, most saw it for the divisive idiocy it was – including many Tories and even Ukip. It was referred to the Advertising Standards Authority. What we didn't know was that the entire campaign was legally questionable. The giant ad itself was produced in-house by the Home Office. But where did the design come from? Design Week magazine sheds possible light on that one. It introduces us to Fabien Delage, a French type designer whose Plane Crash type was allegedly appropriated for the poster campaign without the valid licence or required payment. He's pretty aggrieved. "My partners and customers now suspect I might have been involved," says Delage. His best bet: deny everything. It works for ministers.

• Indignation from the Tories and their media friends over the UN condemnation of the bedroom tax. The spin doctors made sure UN special rapporteur Raquel Rolnik, the Brazilian official responsible, got a good scuffing. But if she isn't easily deterred and fancies running the rule over another of the coalition's wheezes, she might consider Jeremy Hunt's grand plan for the funding of A&E departments. The secretary of state and his people are terrified they will get the blame this winter when A&Es can't cope. Hence the bold announcement: there'll be another £250m for A&Es, he said, and more lolly next year; but they'll only get that lolly if 75% of the frontline staff are inoculated against flu this year. Carrot and stick. And if hospitals noticeably struggle it will be their fault, not his. Clever Jeremy. But here's the thing: he knows that only a handful of health trusts will reach 75%. A tough target, he said. Virtually unreachable, in fact. The average last year was less than 50%. And in any case, most submitted their vaccine orders earlier this year, and the inoculation drive begins in weeks. Where would all the extra vaccine come from at such short notice? Clever Jeremy. This is why PM Dave so likes the cut of his jib.
• Further discussion about the identity of the senior Tory who used the C-word about Ed Miliband over his Syria policy and described the Labour leader as a "copper-bottomed shit". Guided by eagle-eyed types such as blogger Tom Freeman, we noted yesterday that PM Dave has twice used the "copper-bottomed" description in formal speeches. But he isn't the only one. From the palace we hear that members of the coterie surrounding foreign secretary William Hague rather favour the "copper-bottomed" phrase too. Inquiries intensify. Round up the usual suspects.
• For these are strange days. And tempers at the Lords have not been improved by the announcement that, on health and safety grounds, they may be denied barely cooked calf's liver for dinner. The rattier types are made rattier still; and rattiest of all, Lord Tebbit. But spare a thought for the BBC parliamentary staff. Some spent the best part of a trying day ringing peers to ask them how they take their liver. Predictably, the phones rang off the hook. Wonder if there would be an equal reaction if the question was about the bedroom tax or stop and search?
• Many a tale of artistic eccentricity, finally, in As Luck Would Have It, Derek Jacobi's new memoir of his life in the theatre. He has spent time with all the greats: Laurence Olivier, Noel Coward … and it was from Coward that he learned an important but little appreciated fact about acting at the highest level. Jacobi was performing in Coward's Hay Fever, and the great playwright treated him to a night on the town. A trip to the theatre, then off to the Savoy for supper and a nightcap. As Jacobi rose to leave, a question: "Derek," said The Master, "might I ask a very personal question? Are you circumcised?" No, said Jacobi, why do you ask? "What a great pity," replied Coward. "You're a very fine actor, Derek – but you'll never be a great actor until you're circumcised." But why, he asked. "Freedom, dear boy," declared Coward. "Freedom!" Jacobi concluded the bar was set a tad high.
Twitter: @hugh_muir

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/sep/12/hugh-muirs-diary-immigration-van