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05-30-2008, 01:23 PM #1
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- South West Florida (Behind friendly lines but still in Occupied Territory)
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- 117,696
Funny of the day THE DOG'S DIARY / THE CAT'S DIARY
THE DOG'S DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing !!!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing !!!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing !!!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!!!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing !!!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing !!!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing !!!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing !!!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing !!!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing !!!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!!!
THE CAT'S DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I never the less must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.......................Bastards!!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return............. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe................. for now.
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05-30-2008, 01:32 PM #2
OMG this is about MY DOG AND CAT
Proud American and wife of a wonderful LEGAL immigrant from Ireland.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing." -Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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05-30-2008, 01:42 PM #3
this is funny , what a laugh i got . sent it to my daughter since she loves cats I love dogs Dogs Rock
Nam vet 1967/1970 Skull & Bones can KMA .Bless our Brothers that gave their all ..It also gives me the right to Vote for Chuck Baldwin 2008 POTUS . NOW or never*
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05-30-2008, 02:07 PM #4
Thanks for the laugh....this sounds exactly like my cats!
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