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  1. #1
    Senior Member AirborneSapper7's Avatar
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    Iraqi Hockey Player (Makes you wonder)

    Iraqi Hockey Player

    The Detroit Red Wings foreign scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play hockey in the new American sponsored league, and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to the US.

    Ken Holland signs him to a one year contract and the kid joins the team for the preseason.

    Two weeks later the Wings are down 4-0 to the Blackhawks with only 10 minutes left. Mike Babcock gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is a sensation - scores 5 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the Wings! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media love the new star..

    When the player comes off the ice he phones his mom to tell her about his first day of NHL hockey. "Hello mom, guess what?" he says in an Iraqi accent. "I played for 10 minutes today, we were 4-0 down, but I scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

    "Wonderful," says hi s mom, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time."

    The young Iraqi is very upset. "What can I say mom, but I'm so sorry."

    "Sorry? You're Sorry? !!" says his mom, "It's your fault we moved to Detroit in the first place!"
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  2. #2
    Senior Member AirborneSapper7's Avatar
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    HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER

    HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER

    It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the

    Amazing Claude was topping the bill.

    People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

    As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, 'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

    The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

    "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.'

    He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.'

    The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

    Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

    'Poop,' said the Hypnotist.

    It took three days to clean up the senior center.
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