Schwarzenegger Changes Name to Kennedy

John Lillpop

By John Lillpop Monday, June 8, 2009
- Satire-anger

(Los Angeles)-In documents to be filed with the Superior Court of Los Angeles on Monday morning, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has petitioned the state to change his legal name from Arnold Terminator Schwarzenegger to Arnold Wuss Kennedy.

According to legal scholars familiar with the filing, the governor has justified his action based on the following legal arguments:

(i) Kennedy is easier to spell,
(ii) It would substantially boost his prospects for marital bliss, especially in the master bedroom of the governor’s mansion,
(ii) Changing one’s name is far less expensive than divorce, and
(iv) Given Senator Ted Kennedy’s frail health, Arnold may soon be asked to run for the US Senate, a formidable challenge made infinitely less daunting to anyone named Kennedy.
Good luck to the governor in attempting to make official his unconscionable lurch leftward.

Truth be told, Schwarzenegger’s credentials as a conservative have always been suspect, especially since he has utterly broken his promise to “Tear up and throw away the credit cards