Silly Puppet Hammers UN on Serious Child Sex Abuse Scandals

Written by Alex Newman

A puppet with a YouTube channel, a sense of humor, and a German accent has been exposing and lambasting United Nations wrongdoing, sex abuse, pedophilia, coverups, and gross ethical challenges in a series of videos that is making waves on the Internet — and it apparently has upset senior UN officials embroiled in the growing scandals. For weeks now, “Professor Hans von Puppet,” as the lovable character from “Turtle Bay University” is known, has been hammering the UN, with a particular emphasis on the global outfit’s persecution of a Swedish whistleblower who exposed “peacekeeping” troops in Africa raping young children.

In an interview with The New American, the “person or several persons behind the puppet” explained why Professor von Puppet was so outraged — and why you should be, too. “We have put up with the corruption, the incompetence, the hypocrisy and the lack of accountability of UN senior management for many years and are finally sick and tired of it,” the professor explained in an e-mail, saying it was “frustration” that finally forced him (or them) to speak out. “If there is anything worse than a pedophile, it is the person who knows about them and does nothing to stop them. That, sadly, is the UN today.”

The latest saga began when “peacekeeping” troops in the Central African Republic (CAR) under a UN Security Council mandate were found to be systematically raping children as young as nine years old. Since then, multiple contingents of UN “peace” troops have also been accused of raping and sexually exploiting street children in the African nation — following a growing tsunami of similar rape and pedophilia horror stories emerging from virtually every country occupied by UN “peace” forces over a period of decades. The UN claims to be investigating.

Investigators in CAR did put together a report detailing some of the monstrous abuse and exploitation of local children, but instead of acting on it, top UN leaders sought to cover it up. A senior UN official with a conscience, though, Anders Kompass, leaked the report to French authorities in an effort to get the abuse stopped and the perpetrators punished. Instead of commending the whistleblower for trying to help abused children and bring rapists to justice, the UN immediately swung into action — to fire, investigate, punish, and silence him. Kompass was even escorted from his office under armed guard. It eventually made the press. And leaked documents later exposed the highest echelons of UN leadership conspiring to cover it up and persecute the whistleblower.

That is where Professor von Puppet came in. Watch one of Professor Hans’ first videos on the scandal, focusing on UN “ethics:”

According to the good professor, who in just a few weeks has garnered headlines and sparked further panic at UN headquarters, the problem is even broader than the latest UN sex-abuse scandals and the persecution of the whistleblower. “People think this is about defending Anders Kompass. It’s not,” the puppet professor told TNA. “None of us is aware of ever having met him. We don’t know him. He does, however, have certain rights; not the least of which is to be considered innocent until proved guilty.”

“What has been exposed in recent weeks is the self-interest and the perversity of the people at the top,” the puppet professor continued. “They see nothing wrong in trying to fire Mr. Kompass because he alone did something, while they have no shame over the rest of the organization’s complete failure to do anything to stop something as abhorrent as the sexual abuse of little boys…. The UN ‘leadership’ has acted without regard for any moral, ethical or recognized legal norm.”

While conceding that there is a place for protocol and diplomacy — the UN’s excuse for persecuting the Swedish whistleblower who leaked the sex-abuse scandal to French authorities — von Puppet contends that this is the “tail wagging the dog.” “There was a very clear and obvious need to do something to stop the abuse and to protect the children who had been abused,” the professor added. “It was as simple as that; and yet the UN Chief of Staff and the rest of the senior management failed to see it, and worse — they were more interested in turning this into an opportunity to pursue somebody’s personal vendetta against Anders Kompass than they were about the abuse itself.”

According to his handler(s), Professor von Puppet, said by sources to potentially be a UN employee or employees, hopes to achieve accountability. The puppet also hopes to get UN member states to understand what a “travesty” they are faced with. If even one senior UN official gets reprimanded for his role in retaliating against Kompass, the puppet professor will have accomplished something significant, he told The New American. If not, at least he tried, his handler or handlers said. “We are at least doing SOMETHING rather than nothing,” the puppet said when asked about the UN and public reactions to his videos.

“What is important, however, is the message not the messenger,” von Puppet continued. “The staff of the UN, management of the UN, the Member States and the general public have a right to look at this and ask what the hell is going on. There is something very, very wrong when the UN considers the welfare of victims of child sexual abuse as being of less importance than ‘protocol’ — especially when the French Government was patently not offended about the way in which they were told about it.” The public, the fictional professor said, should wonder whether it was appropriate for the UN to obstruct the French investigation, and whether the behavior of the senior-most managers of the UN really reflects “the highest standards of efficiency, competence, and integrity.”

According to the puppet, the biggest problems with the UN are corruption and the lack of accountability, which get worse the higher up in the organization you go. “The corruption in the UN is insidious and very subtle,” he explained. “It is not primarily briefcases full of cash being handed over in exchange for certain contracts or other key decisions, but nobody is saying that doesn’t happen either. You only need to look at the recent reports of the Ivorian police cash-for-jobs scandal to see that. Still, the corruption in the UN is more often seen in such examples as how, at the flogfest in Italy [where UN leaders met to discuss the latest sex-abuse scandal and the man who exposed it], the senior management just made the random decision to destroy Anders Kompass.”

UN managers, he said, “run the organization for their own benefit and to play games for their own petty political interests.” What happened at the Turin meeting where the decision to persecute Kompass was made “was typical of their behavior.” “The senior management committee is like the imperial eunuchs; obsessed with their own power, they are very loyal but at the end of the day — they have no balls. They are all very adept at supporting each other, but they have forgotten why they are there.” Everyone who participated in the Turin meeting and was aware of what was going on shares some guilt. “They were either guilty for participating in a lynching or guilty by default for letting it happen,” he said.

Another major problem stemming from the ongoing scandal is that the UN Office of Internal Oversight Services charged with investigations and protecting whistleblowers has been exposed as a tool for coverups and witch-hunts against whistleblowers — along with its leader, Carman Lapointe. “We know there are UN staff members who would have reported something, but now think that OIOS is worse than the people they have a problem with — so they elect to just shut up and let the crooks get away with it,” the puppet explained.

“Kompass is not a unique case,” the professor continued. “Far from it. The difference is that this time the media have picked up on it, and that is a good thing — not because Kompass needs support but because it is shining a light on some very unethical and unprofessional behavior. We could tell many more horror stories, but we consider we have a moral obligation to do what we can on this one; the UN ignored the sexual abuse of children. We do not believe protocol is an excuse. We think the hottest places in Hell should be reserved for people who know about children being sexually abused and choose to do nothing about it.”

The professor, who teaches "basic common sense" at the imaginary “Turtle Bay University,” refused to supply any clues about the identity or nationality of his scriptwriter(s), though it seems likely to be a UN insider or multiple UN insiders fed up with what is going on. In comments to Buzzfeed, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon’s spokesman, Stephane Dujarric, said about the puppet: “People obviously are free to express themselves in ways creative or not creative about what they feel about the system, but I think the bottom line is that everyone here is on the same side.”

The puppet disagreed. “Mr. Dujarric, what are you smoking?” he asked in one of the more recent videos, suggesting UN leaders, like some of his students, might be smoking some “funny stuff that is possibly not tobacco.” “Do you seriously believe Herr Kompass has put these children at risk? Everybody else thinks he deserves a Nobel Prize. You say the UN must not provide the names of witnesses to the French government? Well everyone else thinks you have rocks in your head. You say the UN has done right by these children. Everyone else thinks the UN needs their ***es kicked for being asleep on the job…. Everyone else thinks Herr Kompass is the only ethical one among you.”

“You say the French police might hurt the children? Everyone else thinks the French police ought to come there and frapper vous sur la tête [hit you on the head],” the puppet continued. “You say the Secretary-General is 'deeply disturbed.' Well, OK, we'll grant you that one…. Now, Mr. Dujarric, the bottom line here is we are not on the same side. The UN is on one side, and the rest of the world is on the other. The only people with you on your side must be smoking that funny stuff or using some other reality-impairing substance. Everyone else is pretty disgusted that the UN did nothing to stop the sexual abuse of these poor little boys, and are appalled that you still will not admit that you have screwed up.”

Watch Professor von Puppet’s response to the UN chief’s spokesman here:

The UN needs a “very radical shake-up, and it desperately needs people to be held accountable,” the puppet concluded, saying Ban has “failed” as chief executive of the UN. “He has talked about ‘zero tolerance’ for sexual exploitation and abuse, and talked about integrity and talked about accountability. What he presides over, however, is an organization that has zero tolerance for anyone REPORTING sexual exploitation and abuse, which is not the same thing at all.”

He also accused the UN Conduct and Discipline Unit, whose chief is married to the deputy director of OIOS, of seemingly modeling itself on the “Nazi Ministry of Propaganda; publicly claiming great successes while being willfully blind to the reality, and fudging the numbers to create the illusion of activity.” “Any good they may do is outweighed by the harm they do; they are the first to receive complaints in the missions, but instead of simply acting as a mailbox and sending those reports to OIOS, they make sure a lot of them are dismissed. Anything that slips through is passed to OIOS — and OIOS dismisses a lot of them at that stage.”

“The UN is not interested in dealing with any disciplinary problems, they are only interested in dealing with the perception of the problem,” von Puppet said. “This is why the question of immunity is so controversial. If the immunity were removed, Conduct & Discipline would no longer be able to filter out complaints and massage the statistics, and they need to do that so the Secretary General and his Imperial Eunuchs can keep telling the General Assembly they are doing a great job. We know the [Sexual Exploitation and Abuse] SEA statistics published for the last couple of years are totally unreliable, so why is nobody even under investigation for misleading the General Assembly?”

If there was any accountability in the UN, the puppet professor said, the UN high commissioner for human rights, the chief of staff, the under-secretary general for the Department of Peacekeeping Operations, the head of the OIOS, and the director of the Ethics Office would have all resigned already. “None of them has done so, because none of them believes in accountability,” the puppet said. “They clearly believe they are above the law.”

Von Puppet said everyone involved in the failure to protect the children from predatory “peacekeepers,” from “Chief of Human Rights and Justice” Renner Onana in CAR to “everyone up the chain of command,” must bear responsibility. If not, there is no incentive for anyone to act differently next time, the puppet said, blasting the pseudo-independent kangaroo “panel” created by UN boss Ban to supposedly probe the scandal — but really to sweep it under the rug.

“Anders Kompass was clearly not going just close his eyes to the sexual abuse of children,” von Puppet said. “Neither are we. The rest of the staff of the UN have to clear things with their own consciences. They have to have an answer ready for when their own kids come to them and ask ‘What does sodomy mean, daddy’ or ‘Mummy, what’s a pedophile?’ And they have to have an answer when their own kids ask ‘Well why didn’t you do anything about it?’” He also said it was a moral and legal obligation to ensure that the child rapists are brought to justice, along with holding accountable those whose actions or inactions protected the perpetrators.

Professor von Puppet wrapped up his remarks to The New American by chiding those who have seen his Youtube lectures and think it is just a “funny little video.” “They are clearly not listening to what he says — but ‘When the sage points at the moon, all that the idiot sees is the finger.’” Von Puppet also noted that there was something “fundamentally sick” about a society or organization where the only people willing or able to exercise the right of free speech are stand-up comics, cartoonists, and puppets. “That, unfortunately, is what Ban Ki Moon’s United Nations has come to,” the professor concluded. To see the good professor’s video comments exposing the UN, click here.