Thread: Obamacare And The Attack of the Living Deadline - Political Ass-Saving Time

Hope And Change
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg
3/28/14

HHS Secretary Kathleen Sibelius swore that there was no way in Heaven or Hell that the signup deadline for Obamacare would be extended past the March 31 cutoff or, and we quote,

"With God as my witness may I be struck dead by lightning and spend eternity pushing the entire three ton Obamacare bill up a slippery slope of burning excrement while my liver is eaten by buzzards!"

Attack of the Living Deadline

As if Daylight Saving Time wasn't annoying enough, Barack Obama has just decreed that the nation must now observe Political Ass-Saving Time. On April 15, all Americans will be required to turn their calendars back to March 31 (helpful homeowner tip: this is also a good time to change the batteries in your smoke & mirror detectors!)

The reason for this bizarre development is, of course, Obamacare. Only days ago, HHS Secretary Kathleen Sibelius swore that there was no way in Heaven or Hell that the signup deadline for Obamacare would be extended past the March 31 cutoff or, and we quote, "with God as my witness may I be struck dead by lightning and spend eternity pushing the entire three ton Obamacare bill up a slippery slope of burning excrement while my liver is eaten by buzzards!"

(Side note: A full-color print of the scene she described will soon be available nationwide at Hobby Lobby stores.)

Which is why the March 31 cutoff has not been extended, but people now have until April 15 to meet the March 31 cutoff in a few very, very, very rare circumstances. For instance, if they found the Healthcare.gov website to be an impossible-to-use train wreck. In other words, everybody gets the non-extension extension! Hooray!

All of this is being done to try desperately to get at least a few more people enrolled to help disguise the utter disaster that Obamacare has been to date. How big a disaster, you ask? Try this: after all of the pain, confusion, bleeding of dollars, and disruption of real human lives and healthcare, 98% of the nation's uninsured remain uninsured. Even on its final flight, Malaysian 370 was going in the right direction more than 2% of the time.

Unlike Flight 370, however, we have experts who can tell us exactly what went wrong with the Obamacare signup and its primary goal of enrolling healthy young 20-somethings (or, as Michelle Obama calls them, "knuckleheads.")

The difficulty, according to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, is that "people are not educated about the Internet." Which is rather an odd thing to say about a generation that posts tweets, texts, Facebook messages, and Instagram pictures about their every thought, meal, and bowel movement.

Perhaps Harry will propose massively-expensive legislation to have union-certified teachers instruct the nation's 28-year-olds about this "Internet" thing and, as long as they're in a classroom, provide additional instruction introducing them to the newfangled wonders of electric lighting and indoor plumbing.

He can skip teaching them how to use a calendar, though. Because now that the president has declared calendars to be "living documents," actual dates don't mean a damn thing.

http://hopenchangecartoons.blogspot....-deadline.html

From the blog ..

6 comments:

Geoff King said... Sorry Harry, lack of knowledge of the internet is not the problem. If anything, it is the opposite. Online horror stories of identity theft, loss of coverage, and doubling rates associated with Øbamacare - coupled with people's inborn tendency to procrastinate is why sign ups are so low. By granting yet another unconstitutional extension, the entire mess has entered the realm of fantasy tales. I now believe there will be several more delays ahead until, inevitably, the whole debacle is finally ended with a complete repeal.
March 28, 2014 at 4:23 AM The Digital Hairshirt said... His Holiness schooled him!

http://digihairshirt.blogspot.com/20...ting-with.html
March 28, 2014 at 5:37 AM Bruce Bleu said... Stilton,
There are just TOO many benchmarks of genius in this days post. What adult beverages were you imbibing... I gotta get me some of that!
Regarding the introductory e-mail comment, "in today's commentary we cut the Dems so many new a**holes that when they pass gas it will sound like a bagpipe concert.", what's the difference between onions and bagpipes? Nobody cries when you cut up bagpipes!
Remember when Hairy Palms said how the world was going to end if we didn't have lamontocare, and how Nancy Pegrossi lauded the necessity to the point that "reading what the hell the bill says doesn't matter, if we don't pass this kidney stone IMMEDIATELY we will ALL DIE in the next 45 minutes"? I just can't get beyond the thought "if it was SO damned crucial that we HAVE this abortion, why in the "bootie-hole coitus-ing" HELL must it be DELAYED until Hell's meteorologist broadcasts wearing a PARKA"!?
George Bush's "tax-cut" was going to usher in the end of civilization during the campaign, but "HAD TO BE EXTENDED TO 'HELP THE ECONOMY' after the 'ni**er-rigged' election numerous times"!
I bought a stuffed dog at a garage sale that I named "lamont". I'm going to stop typing now and go kick its ass around my half-acre estate!
March 28, 2014 at 7:41 AM Jim Hlavac said... Your picture of Pope and Dope sent my mind a-reeling -- for funny, it was Medieval and Renaissance popes, several times, that adjusted the calendar to wipe out days and entire weeks -- Diocletian, Gregory, Julian -- a few lesser upstarts -- and many a learned scholar like Alcuin, Roger Bacon and Bernard of Clairvoix -- all worked at harmonizing the calendric reality of what the peasants saw in the fields under the sun -- and what the pope, king and jester declared as the time to tithe.

The last time this happened, I believe in 1732, Washington's birthday moved 2 weeks ... and the peasants in many places rose up in revolt. Now we move the calendar two weeks in Washington!

The Russians never got with the program, of course, so they still celebrate Christmas on January 6th instead of in December. That led to a war or two.

And geez, here we are again. The pope and King(ish) Obama, the Jester Harry and even a crazed Russian too -- Yeesh -- history does repeat.
March 28, 2014 at 7:42 AM Chuck Ef said... Code word for today: Sisyphus.

Does anyone else feel that way? The good doctor's first cartoon would seem to suggest a way out for poor Sisy.

The picture with the Pope reminds me that we are dealing with a weak sister as our president, one for which this article
http://www.livescience.com/44380-sma...c-cooling.html
and this article
http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/...294243784.html
go together.

A nuclear fiasco is a helluva lot more important thing to worry about than Global Warming (note that I used caps to assuage our lefty readers) with the Unicorn Prince in power and Vlad The Impaler waiting for his chocolates. Pope notwithstanding....
March 28, 2014 at 9:26 AM Reiuxcat said... What is interestingly contradictory is that one day the delay, sorry, the postponement of March 31st is announced and then the next day they claim to have met the goal of signing up 6 million to Obamacare.

So it goes, it seems. Now if they'd only tell us how many had insurance to begin with and how many have actually paid.

Yeah, I know, only if it benefits His O'liness and the libs.

Whoops double posted

Originally Posted by Newmexican

And remember this.... The Rebugnants signed on for this diabolical fiasco as well!! They are all guilty, everyone of those politicans who signed it including the Judges who signed it into law!!!

PLUNGE: New Poll Shows Obamacare Support At 26%

March 29, 2014

A new poll shows that just 26 percent of Americans support Obamacare, but at the same time only 13 percent think the law will be completely repealed.
The Associated Press-Gfk survey was completed before the White House announced this week that it had signed up 6 million people for private health plans through the state and federal exchanges under the Affordable Care Act.
The poll showed that 7 in 10 American believe the law will stay on the books with some changes.
The AP noted that support for the law has dropped 13 points since 2010, when 39 percent favored the law. Opposition also has dipped 7 percentage points from 2010, when it stood at 43 percent. The number of people on the fence, the AP reported, has tripled from 10 percent to 30 percent.
PLUNGE: New Poll Shows Obamacare Support At 26% [continued]


Read more at http://libertycrier.com/plunge-new-poll-shows-obamacare-support-26/#DRMID7PlAPtWHzTH.99



Surprise surprise everyones running for the Hills now!!!!

Financial War, Russian Shooting War, Phony Fed Stress Test, Obama • ObamaCare deadline extended

Reporter Detained By Capitol Hill Police For Trying To Ask EPA Chief A Question

March 29, 2014

A reporter has been detained by Capitol Hill police for trying to ask a question of Environmental Protection Agency administrator Gina McCarthy.

Bloomberg BNA energy reporter Ari Natter tweeted about being detained.

#transparency RT @AriNatter: I am being detained by Capital Police for trying to ask @EPAGina a question after her remarks.
— nickjuliano (@nickjuliano) March 28, 2014

Natter was detained while covering the American Council On Renewable Energy conference, where McCarthy spoke.

Also speaking at the conference was Rhode Island Democratic Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse, a staunch supporter of green energy who regularly takes the Senate floor to sound the alarm on global warming. McCarthy spoke about renewable energy issues, including the EPA’s proposal to cut back the amount of ethanol refiners are required to blend into gasoline annually to avoid economic calamity. She also talked about the Obama administration’s view that energy and environmental policy go hand in hand.

“The energy issues and the environmental issues we are facing today are really two sides of the same coin,” she said.
Reporter Detained By Capitol Hill Police For Trying To Ask EPA Chief A Question [continued]


Read more at http://libertycrier.com/reporter-detained-capitol-hill-police-trying-ask-epa-chief-question/#4ZF36PW9jBrBoZLT.99



What is this called abuse of power by Agency administrator Gina McCarthy.
or just plain Flatulence!!!!!!!