Politically correct border enforcement
Friends, it is time we show the rest of the world that we, the people of the United States, are a people of politically correctness. Why? Because we are the best and have the greatest advantage, so it is our responsibility to set a good example to the rest of the world.
1) The idea of a fence or a wall is offensive, as it implies separation. Instead, we should erect signs that point to historical markers. The historical markers would have little wooden benches under a tree (good resting spots) and a plaque printed in both English and Spanish with information about a national border.
2) Guns are offensive because they imply violence and possibly even death. Instead, our guards at the border should carry walkie-talkies (kinda like they did in the re-editing of the movie E.T.).
3) The idea of national flags at the border are offensive also. The US flag should be flown only in the US and not at the border. The same goes for the Mexican flag. Fly it in Mexico, but not at the border. Instead we should create a new flag that mixes all the colors of both flags. With red, white, green, and blue, I guess it would be a light brownish color. It should also be noted that the color brown is not offensive to hispanic people.
4) Terms like "illegal alien" are offensive because they imply that a person is a being other than human and that breaking laws is a bad thing. We have tampered with the term "undocumented worker", but unfortunately this term is not fitting either because it implies a lower status of work class, separating immigrants from the rest of society. Instead, I suggest we use the term "early bloomer" because it sends a more positive message about entering the US before the proper paperwork has been completed. Less offensive terms are nothing new to us. If you recall, we went from using the term "colored" to "black" to "african american".
5) How will we secure the borders without some kind of fence or wall? Simple! We can erect a 50 foot advertisement extension across the historical border. This extension might appear as a wall to some, but should never be referred to as a wall for reasons already defined. Companies such as Coca Cola oand Dell computers could post huge advertisements all over this extension. The advertisement aspect would relieve the tax payers of having to finance the construction of an offensive security wall.
Anyone have any more ideas?
