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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    2,032

    Want A Laugh?

    A recent letter received by the White House complained about the treatment
    >of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a
    >letter they
    >received back:
    >
    >
    >The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20016
    >
    >Dear Concerned Citizen:
    >
    >Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the
    >Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
    >
    >Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard
    >loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks
    >to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the
    >Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept
    >Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with
    >the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist
    >under your personal care.
    >
    >Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation
    >under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed
    >bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the
    >standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will
    >likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will
    >conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed
    >are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
    >
    >Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your
    >sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him
    >overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these
    >problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance.
    >
    >We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your
    >adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can
    >extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
    >We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next
    >yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices
    >from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked
    >up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
    >
    >Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except
    >sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a
    >particularly sensitive subject for him, and he has been known to show
    >violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code
    >that Ahmed will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure they will
    >come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka - over time. Just remind
    >them that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious
    >beliefs" - wasn't that how you put it?
    >Also, it is probably not a good idea that Ahmed spend time alone with your
    >children as he would kill them for practice and without remorse. I'm sure
    >you can work around this with significant inconvenience.
    >
    >
    >Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you,
    >who know so much and keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You
    >take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching. Good luck!
    >
    >Best Wishes,
    >
    >Rummy and friends
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed. " - Lloyd Jones

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    483
    Right ON RR!!!!!!!!
    "Let my name stand among those who are willing to bear ridicule and reproach for the truth's sake." -- Louisa May Alcott

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    1,365
    Very witty.
    http://www.alipac.us Enforce immigration laws!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    821
    "He will bite you, given the chance."

    My favorite line. ROFLMSAO!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Virginiamama's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
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    Alabama
    Posts
    2,088
    Equal rights for all, special privileges for none. Thomas Jefferson

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