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07-10-2005, 06:27 PM #1
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Posts
- 2,032
Want A Laugh?
A recent letter received by the White House complained about the treatment
>of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a
>letter they
>received back:
>
>
>The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20016
>
>Dear Concerned Citizen:
>
>Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the
>Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
>
>Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard
>loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks
>to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the
>Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept
>Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with
>the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist
>under your personal care.
>
>Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation
>under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed
>bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the
>standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will
>likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will
>conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed
>are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
>
>Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your
>sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him
>overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these
>problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance.
>
>We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your
>adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can
>extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
>We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next
>yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices
>from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked
>up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
>
>Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except
>sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a
>particularly sensitive subject for him, and he has been known to show
>violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code
>that Ahmed will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure they will
>come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka - over time. Just remind
>them that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious
>beliefs" - wasn't that how you put it?
>Also, it is probably not a good idea that Ahmed spend time alone with your
>children as he would kill them for practice and without remorse. I'm sure
>you can work around this with significant inconvenience.
>
>
>Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you,
>who know so much and keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You
>take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching. Good luck!
>
>Best Wishes,
>
>Rummy and friends
>
>
>
>
>
>
>The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed. " - Lloyd Jones
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07-10-2005, 06:54 PM #2
- Join Date
- Jan 1970
- Posts
- 483
Right ON RR!!!!!!!!
"Let my name stand among those who are willing to bear ridicule and reproach for the truth's sake." -- Louisa May Alcott
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07-10-2005, 07:24 PM #3
- Join Date
- Feb 2005
- Posts
- 1,365
Very witty.
http://www.alipac.us Enforce immigration laws!
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07-10-2005, 07:31 PM #4
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Posts
- 821
"He will bite you, given the chance."
My favorite line. ROFLMSAO!!
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07-10-2005, 08:01 PM #5Equal rights for all, special privileges for none. Thomas Jefferson
Biden may hand out green cards to 4,000 illegal migrants per year
03-28-2024, 01:54 PM in Videos about Illegal Immigration, refugee programs, globalism, & socialism