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Feliz Navidad' el presidente!
Posted: December 25, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern

A big ''Feliz Navidad'' to Mexico's President Felipe Calderon in honor of his gift to illegal aliens returning from the United States for Christmas south of the border.

The gift? It is an effort to keep Mexican border guards from shaking down the returning illegals. Calderon wasn't able to accomplish this within the government bureaucracy. Instead he had to recruit volunteers to keep an eye on Mexican customs officials.

We're not criticizing the ''bite'' that customs officials impose on certain persons crossing into Mexico. It would be insensitive to do so. Border shakedowns and bribery, though technically illegal, are time-honored elements of Mexican culture.

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Calderon went so far as to greet returning illegals at the Arizona border, promising to fight for their ''rights'' in the United States.

On the other hand, el presidente has announced plans to tighten Mexican border security to stem the tide of illegal immigrants crossing from Guatemala.

Seeking explanation of this apparent contradiction, we contacted Doroteo Arango, Mexico's deputy assistant minister of la mordida (the bite).

''It's very simple,'' said Arango, ''and for $20 I will elucidate.''

In light of our generous expense account, we handed over a double sawbuck and the deputy assistant minister explained:

''Mexico's problems on its southern frontier are Mexico's problems, and they are nobody else's business. However, I will tell you that those Guatemalans and Salvadorans and Panamanians and others sneaking into Mexico – even though they plan eventually to move on to the USA – depress wages and put a burden on our social services, limited though those services may be.

''On the other hand, Mexico's problems on its northern frontier with the United States are the problems of the United States – and we expect you to solve them.''

We allowed that this intelligence was not much of much value, and Arango said he would continue – for another 20 bucks. To this we replied with a testy suggestion that he take himself to perdition.

''Oh!'' said Arango. ''You already know the rest of the explanation.''

It is traditional for columnists, holiday-harried like everybody else, to whip out a cheap column on Christmas gifts they wish for various personages and institutions. As yours truly is as harried as the rest, here goes:

* For the citizens of the United States: Some backbone in the War on Terrorism, being bravely fought by our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan .

* For the new Congress: Some backbone in the War on Terrorism, being bravely fought by our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

* For the European Union: Some backbone in the War on Terrorism, being bravely fought by our troops (and a few of theirs) in Iraq and Afghanistan.

* For our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan – and elsewhere in the world: Peace on Earth or, failing that, victory.

* For American parents: The understanding that if their children are failing to learn, the fault is theirs.

* For Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid: A glimmer of understanding that the socialist programs they have advocated – insofar as they have been implemented – are failures.

* For the U.S. Supreme Court: The understanding that the supreme law of the land is the Constitution, not foreign law.

* For President George W. Bush: The backbone to continue the War on Terrorism. Wait, he already seems to have that. Let him have instead a lacquered report of the Iraq Study Group, for use as a doorstop.

* For Joseph Farah and the WND family: Continued and deserved recognition as the top Internet site for news and opinion. And let's add, dismissal of that pesky lawsuit in Tennessee.

* For our readers: Our thanks for your kind words and our thanks for your unkind words. In either case, we're grateful to know you're reading.