Thread: Illegal immigrant students grapple with US dating

By AMY TAXIN, Associated Press

Associated Press
(01-16) 12:18 PST Los Angeles, CA (AP) -

Laura Enriquez wanted her boyfriend to get a taste of her Alaska vacation last summer, so she walked on glaciers in a pair of his shoes and held up his photo when taking snapshots of the scenery.

It was the best the 24-year-old graduate student could do because her boyfriend, who was brought here from Mexico by his parents as a child, is an illegal immigrant and can't risk traveling anywhere identification is required.

For the past two years, the couple have navigated some of life's rites of passage with this in mind. She does the driving and often pays because even with a college degree it's hard for him to find work.

The death of the Dream Act last month dashed their hopes of a path to citizenship. While illegal immigrant students pushed for the bill to improve their access to education and jobs after graduation, the legislation also would have eased the often overlooked challenges of making friends and dating without papers.

On college campuses, illegal immigrant students face a social barrier anywhere photo identification like a driver's license is required: from taking a road trip with friends to bar hopping to catching a flight.

That can make it difficult to deepen friendships or relationships — or to date at all.

Nancy Guarneros, a 23-year-old graduate student, remembers how she was primping for a special night out with her boyfriend when he told her they were going to a club. She panicked.

"It's like, oh my gosh, how can you take me somewhere that requires government ID? What were you thinking?" Guarneros recalled at a recent meeting students held in Los Angeles to talk about so-called "cross-status" dating.

It isn't clear how many young couples are in similar relationships. Researchers say it would be tough to find out, but the number has likely grown since children brought here as illegal immigrants after the country's 1986 legalization program have come of age and it has become tougher to get a green card through marriage.

Illegal immigration peaked during the 1990s, with 4.5 million people arriving during the decade, according to a 2010 report by the Pew Hispanic Center. Those who arrived as small children are now teenagers or in their mid-20s.

U.S. citizens and green card holders date illegal immigrants at all ages, but researchers say it's probably more frequent on college campuses, which foster diversity and create a space where students feel safer revealing their status.

It's especially likely for those students and 20-somethings who were brought here as toddlers and grew up on American cartoons, speak flawless English and have American friends.

Many never knew they were illegal immigrants until they learned at age 16, unlike their peers, they couldn't get a driver's license.

"They go through Americanizing experiences. They grow up watching Barney and the Power Rangers. They go to prom. They do all these things American kids are doing," said Roberto Gonzales, a sociology professor at the University of Washington.

"What happens at 16, 17, 18 years old is when everything becomes real for them, they can't move through American rites of passage," he said.

Over the last year, many of these students made national headlines pushing for the Dream Act. The bill would have provided a route to legal status for hundreds of thousands of immigrants under 30 years old who were brought to the United States before age 16, lived in the country five years, graduated from high school or gained an equivalency degree and who joined the military or attended college.

The legislation shot down by the Senate in December was championed by immigrant advocates as a first step toward a broader legalization of the country's 10 million to 12 million illegal immigrants and was reviled by critics who said it would fuel uncontrolled migration.

Issues like dating and friendships may seem trivial — but not to teens and college students yearning to fit in.

Illegal immigrant youth often become angry and depressed when they learn they're living in a country not truly their own and can't find work, said Carola Suarez-Orozco, professor of applied psychology and co-director of Immigration Studies at New York University.

And while getting an education and a job top their worries, students say they also struggle to have a normal social life.

Dating isn't easy, especially for young men who can't drive and often don't have cash to pay for a date since they can't get a steady job.

The students are also viewed with suspicion by the families of their U.S. boyfriends and girlfriends who think they're after a green card.

"That's like the biggest elephant in the room," said Erick Huerta, a 26-year-old college student from Los Angeles.

"In my last relationship, she actually told me her mom told her, 'Mija,' be careful because you know those people, they only want one thing," he told the students at the meeting, to a chorus of chuckles.

For those who date illegal immigrants, there's a constant worry their partners will get deported. They find themselves making excuses as to why the couple can't meet friends at a bar or travel.

Both are often consumed by guilt: citizens, for the privileges they have; illegal immigrants for the burdens they shoulder.

And that's before they graduate from college. The pressures only get harder when they leave the safety of campus.

Marriage was once seen as a sure-fire ticket to a green card. But many illegal immigrants now need to return to their birth countries to apply for papers and will be barred from returning for a decade unless they get a special waiver.

Enriquez said her boyfriend has made himself a promise: he won't wed until he's already got his green card so there's no doubt that he's marrying for love.

That's fine for Enriquez, who is in no rush to get to the altar. But she wishes they could travel together like other young couples.

For now, she'll have to be content to share her journeys with him through photographs, including one of herself holding up his picture with Alaskan glaciers in the background.

In some way, he's been there, too.


Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... 9qHFciated

And I hope this year they will face more barriers and decide to leave as we want. Enough of the SOB STORIES!

The MSM will stop at nothing in their efforts to generate sympathy for the plight of their beloved illegal invaders, through these never ending sob stories!

Pass the Kleenex!

Boo freaking HOO! Don't give a darn! How about American students who don't have money for dates because illegal aliens are doing jobs that used to be held by US teenagers? Don't see any of these open border cretins writing about them.

It's especially likely for those students and 20-somethings who were brought here as toddlers and grew up on American cartoons, speak flawless English and have American friends.

You mean the same students who march through our streets with mexican flags, demanding their way? Yeah, how American they are. Chicano studies, mecha, laraza..yep American alright.

This article offends me beyond belief.

gosh, had they started the application process to become a legal resident back when they found out they were illegal, perhaps now they would be legal.

They can solve their little problem by going back where they belong.

I can't understand why they would even want to date people like that. My daughter started dating a Cuban who immigrated with his parents when he was 2 or 3. He obviously was here legally but even so my daughter had difficulties. His mother did not speak a word of English and had no desire to learn. She expected my daughter to learn Spanish. My daughter said no way as her grandparents and great grandparents were immigrants and everyone of them learned and spoke English. If these illegals parents choose not to assimilate it is a also a big problem but they will not talk about that part.

quote(Both are often consumed by guilt: citizens, for the privileges they have; illegal immigrants for the burdens they shoulder.)quote


Consumed with guilt, who and why. My spouse and I worked a combined total of 85 years for the things we acquired, should I feel guilty and give it to those who want it free.

The American taxpayer shoulders the burden of the third world and our problems increase and who will shoulder our burden. What a load of crap I grow so weary of reading trash like this.

The San Francisco Chronicle has published an unbroken stream of these sob stories, often under the heading of Stories from the border. That paper has run approximately ten articles on its OpEd page over the last four months, all either criticizing opposition to illegal immigration or actively promoting it. At least five of Ruben Navarrette's articles have been published during this period. This despite the fact that the Chron's own guidelines for OpEd submissions state that the paper rarely prints articles from the same person more often than once every six months.

There have been no OpEd articles at all from an anti-illegal immigration point of view, nor have there been any OpEd articles re immigrants - legal or illegal - undercutting Californians for jobs, committing crimes against Californians, or contributing to the degradation of Californians quality of life via overpopulation.

The Chron's refusal to publish opinion articles from a pro-American point of view has its intended effect. I talk to people regularly who actually believe that illegals do jobs that Americans won't do. They're surprised to learn that blue collar Americans have always done those jobs.

If the feds would enforce the law the illegals wouldn't have this problem. They would be deported before this could happen. Deport all illegals and their familys. Fine their employers for hireing them. Make them prove legal residence to recieve any public benifits. Take away the incentives to stay and they will leave.