Thread: Emigration rips apart families

This article shows how illegal immigrates do not mind breaking up their families in their home country to come to the US, but when it comes to being deported from the US they use the excuse of breaking up the family.

http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/homep ... 5348951951

DAY 3: Emigration rips apart families
By Liz Mineo/Daily News Staff
Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - Updated: 12:55 AM EST


GOVERNADOR VALADARES, Brazil For all the comfort emigration has brought to families, many in Valadares are coming to the realization the price they have paid is far too high.

They have broken hearts, empty homes and questions about what happened to loved ones who left to fulfill dreams.

Divorce rates are rising in Valadares because of the strains on relationships placed by emigration. Ninety-five percent of marriages with one parent living abroad end up in divorce, said local lawyer Maria das Gracas de Lima.

It's destroying our families," said Lima. "In some cases, parents go abroad and forget the children they have left behind. In others, parents provide financial help, but they're failing to meet their children's emotional needs. What messages are we sending our children? That family doesn't matter, that money is more important."

The wave of migration overseas that began in the 1960s and exploded in the 1990s has benefited this city, but has also ripped holes in its social fabric. For many years, people here only spoke of the financial benefits brought by emigration, but increasingly more are daring to speak loudly about its dark side.

"Families are suffering," said Pastor Salatiel de Souza, 77, president of the Assembly of God churches in Valadares, which has 30,000 congregants. "Our people are pursuing money and comfort," he said. "They're making money but they're losing their families."

Examples abound. Behind every success story of an emigrant there are tears and heartaches. Consider the story of Luciana Serra, 22, who hasn't seen her father for the past 13 years, or Juninho dos Santos, 8, who saw his father for the last time when he was four years old. Or Alexina de Jesus, 75, who recently suffered a stroke and wonders whether she'll live to see her children, Francisco, 38, Rita, 35, and her youngest Jose, 34, all of whom live in the United States.

Common dilemma

When Alexina suffered a stroke, none of her children could come to see her, because they're illegal immigrants in the United States. Alexina's daughter, Celia Ferreira, 41, took over the family affairs.

Ferreira has also lost two brothers and a husband to emigration. Her case is not uncommon. Many in Valadares have more than one family member overseas. For those familes, having empty chairs at dinnertime or holiday celebrations is a part of life.

Ferreira takes care of Larissa, 9, and Vinicius, 15, the children of her sister Rita, who left three years ago. Rita lives in Allston and cleans houses.

"She asks me to take pictures, record everything, but it's not the same," said Ferreira at her mother's home in Turmalinas, a poor neighborhood of Valadares. "She's missing all the important things in the lives of her children. They feel abandoned."

Ferreira's heart aches when she sees her mother suffer from not being able to see her children or from watching her niece and nephew grow without their mother. But her heart breaks when she talks about her husband of 15 years, Carlos Ferreira.

"I lost my friend, my companion," she said, tears filling her eyes. "I miss preparing my husband's lunch."

Had she known all the pain her husband's departure was going to bring, she wouldn't have let him go, she said. Ferreira, who is retired, worked 20 years as a housekeeper in Rio de Janeiro. With the money she earned, she built the house where her mother lives and small studios for rent in a poor neighborhood of Rio, where Ferreira lives part of the year. Anyone who works hard in any part of the world can make money, she said.

"I cleaned houses so my sister wouldn't have to do it," she said. "And there she is, cleaning houses in America."

"Everybody says if you go to America, everything is going to be wonderful," she said while her mother read the Bible in Portuguese. "What about the pain, the loneliness?"

Ferreira's husband is scheduled to return in another year. And her sister is also planning to come back. Ferreira can't wait.

Stopping the cycle

A combination of the economic slowdown and more restrictive immigration controls in the United States has made the situation worse for illegal immigrants.

After the terrorist attacks in 2001, immigration controls became more rigid. With the government crackdown against illegal immigrants and growing public disapproval, illegal immigrants are experiencing harder times. They live in constant fear of being caught and deported. Back home, their families share their anguish and worry.

Sociologist Sueli Siqueira, who has researched the migration from Valadares to New England, has seen both the benefits and the drawbacks of emigration on families.

"It's tearing families apart," she said. "Children are left behind, family members don't recognize each other after years of separation, men return and find their wives pregnant, wives find out their husbands have cheated on them ... The social and human cost of emigration outweighs its benefits."

Children graduate from high school or college, marry and have children in Valadares, and their parents, who live as illegal immigrants in the United States, choose to miss those key events for fear of not being allowed back in the United States.

Illegal immigrants who are caught are barred from re-entering the United States for 10 years.

When the children are the illegal immigrants, it's common that they opt not to take a plane and be home with their loved ones if their parents get sick, undergo operations, or die. Andreia Moreira didn't see her father die, and her husband Marcos missed nearly five years in the life of his seven year-old daughter. The Moreiras lived in Weymouth between 2001 and 2006.

"I made money, but I didn't see my daughter take her first steps," said Moreira, his voice cracking, his eyes filled with tears. "I carried her picture with me, and I cried so many times looking at it. Sometimes, I wondered if it was worth it. The hole in my heart is so deep."

Parents here are beginning to question whether it's worthwhile to sacrifice family in pursuit of money. They anguish at the predicament of having to abandon their children to give them a better life, but many are still leaving them behind.

Daiana Ferreira, 18, Celia Ferreira's adoptive daughter, knows her priorities. While many of her peers long to live in the United States to make money, she feels differently.

I couldn't live away from my family," said Daiana, who, after finishing high school, plans to study computer systems in Valadares. "I want to be near my family. I wouldn't trade my family for money."

Juninho dos Santos, 8, hasn't seen his father who went to Portugal since he was four.
(Liz Mineo)

Well said Skippy! Abandon the wife and kids back home to become an illegal aline in the US.

Dixie