Thread: Calling all illegal immigrants Could you be a better face

http://www.suntimes.com/news/brown/5228 ... 23.article

Calling all illegal immigrants Could you be a better face for movement than Arellano was?

August 23, 2007
BY MARK BROWN Sun-Times Columnist
My mother always told me I didn't know when to leave well enough alone.
In that vein, I return to the subject on which so many of us choose to disagree: Elvira Arellano and the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants living in the United States.

If I were to judge solely by the many e-mails and phone calls I've received in the last few days, then I would conclude that overwhelming public opinion is for the other 12 million illegal immigrants to follow Arellano out of the country at the earliest possible opportunity -- yesterday, if it could be arranged.

But I won't judge on that basis. I will instead hold out hope that the old silent majority is stuck somewhere in the middle on this great immigration debate and is still willing to listen to reason and show compassion.

In the spirit of compromise, I am willing to concede one point to all those who are saying that Arellano was the wrong person to be the face of the illegal immigration issue in the United States, implying that the messenger was the problem more than the message.

Fine by me. I never picked her for the role. While I generally support Arellano and sympathize with her plight, I found her irritating at times, too.

So now that she's back in Mexico, let's find somebody new.


Speak English?
I offer my services to help discover a new person who is willing to be the living, breathing example of what it means to be an illegal immigrant in the United States, someone who the news media can contact in a pinch. The goal, though, will be to choose someone who the American public will find more acceptable than Arellano.
I envision this as my own version of "Star Search."

Any of the 12 million living here illegally are welcome to apply, although I probably would lean toward picking a Mexican for the position.

While the 12 million estimate for illegals (some say that's too low) includes 40 percent who aren't from Mexico, I would be accused of avoiding the "real problem" if I were to anoint a Pole or an Irishman as the new face of the illegal immigrant.

That's what always happens when I write that we have millions of people of other nationalities living here illegally, too. Somebody asserts that they're not the "real problem," which naturally makes me suspicious about the nature of the real problem, although they would probably say border control.

Obviously, our new immigrant spokesperson needs to speak impeccable English. That was a big criticism of Arellano. She knew some English, but was never comfortable enough to be interviewed speaking it. I agree immigrants ought to learn our language, so I'll be making that a prerequisite.

I'm not particular as to whether the new spokesperson is a man or a woman, although I would think an attractive woman would have an advantage. But not too attractive, of course, more of a girl-next-door look. Americans like that.


Did you pay your taxes?
If our spokesperson candidates have any children, they preferably should be married. As the Arellano situation has reminded us, Americans are very sensitive about single mothers, especially when they are poor. Someone who has been recently widowed might be OK, if they have papers to prove it.
I'm not quite sure what to look for in a future immigrant media star in terms of employment history.

Americans value hard work, but they don't want undocumented immigrants doing anything illegal, and it takes a Social Security number to get most jobs in this country, which they can't legally obtain. Arellano was prosecuted for using someone else's Social Security number, but also slammed for not working and accepting the charity of her supporters after she took refuge in the church. Very confusing.

I'd say the best candidate would have a good job, but never have been prosecuted for using a false Social Security number. To be safe, our new spokesperson should have paid all her taxes.

Another tricky requirement is that our spokesperson must be willing to go public with their personal life circumstances and suffer the ensuing slings and arrows, not to mention possible deportation, yet somehow still come across as modest and self-effacing so that she can't be accused of flaunting her illegality.

Obviously, that's a tall order, but with 12 million people, I'm sure there are plenty of good candidates.

I just need to print this one disclaimer for those who may seek the position:

No matter how perfect you are, when all is said and done, they won't like you any better than Elvira.

This guy is just a paid shill for the Globalist neo-slavers.