Van Hollen proposes medical testing on illegal aliens
By OMC Staff Writers


Published April 1, 2007 at 12:00 a.m.

Wisconsin Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen finally lived up to his campaign promise to alleviate the rampant illegal immigration problem in the state.

At the same time, he threw a bone to animal-rights activists who have been protesting the use of dogs for testing at the Medical College of Wisconsin.

Van Hollen's idea? Beginning July 1, the MCW and other research facilities will begin performing medical tests on illegal immigrants.

"The key word in 'illegal immigrant' is 'illegal,'" Van Hollen said. "I have tremendous respect for the immigrant community, but I also have respect for the law. By coming here to pick crops and clean hotel rooms for low wages, these people are breaking the law and they should be punished.

"As U.S. Attorney, I helped secure additional resources from Immigration and Custom Enforcement for the state, and then after the illegal aliens were prosecuted and served their time, they were turned over to ICE for deportation, regardless of who they were or the crime they committed."

Though Wisconsin is not a border state, Van Hollen made immigration a key issue in his campaign and spoke often of his experiences with immigrants growing up in the Northwoods of Wisconsin and doing undergrad work at St. Olaf College. Once in office, though, the issue was largely forgotten until a staffer came up with the idea to tie animal testing and immigration together.

"The people in my office are sick of getting all these letters and e-mails from the bleeding heart PETA people," Van Hollen said, biting into a 12-oz. filet mignon during lunch at Lucky's Steakhouse in Pecatonica.

"We just figured this was a way to knock out two issues at one time. It's all about efficiency. The Democrats would never think of doing this."

Dr. Marcia Lubbock-Levine, who is charge of research at the Medical College of Wisconsin, said she was unaware of Van Hollen's plan.

"I'll need to see specifics," she said. "I'm not sure it's going to work. For starters, we don't have enough rooms to house a lot of aliens; where would park their spaceships? And, what would we do with all these dogs?"

Van Hollen said the problems could be overcome.

"Under my plan, all aliens without proper documentation will be referred to the nearest medical facility, where they will take part in testing that will make Wisconsin a hive of technological activity. This is a win-win for the animal rights nuts and the research community.

"Once the aliens are no longer of use in the lab, we can jail them and begin the deportation process."

Alberto Reyes, the spokesman for immigrant rights group La Isla Bonita, said his group will vigorously oppose Van Hollen's plan -- once it hears the details.

"I haven't heard many details yet," Reyes said. "Are they talking about cosmetic testing or are they talking about radical surgeries? Either way, I don't think we should have to put up with this.

"Why should they go after hard-working people? Why not pick on the homeless? It's not like they're doing anything."

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