Thread: Funny of the day: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

BARACK OBAMA

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road...

SARAH PALIN

BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA !

HILLARY CLINTON

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.


DICK CHENEY

Where's my gun?


COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.


BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?


AL GORE

I invented the chicken.


JOHN KERRY

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


AL SHARPTON

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


DR. PHIL

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.


OPRAH

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


ANDERSON COOPER,CNN

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


NANCY GRACE

That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


MARTHA STEWART

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


DR SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die in the rain, alone.


JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.


GRANDPA

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.


ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


COLONEL SANDERS

Did I miss one?

Priceless! I am emailing this to everyone I know!

In real life;
A mother asks her teenage son to go feed the chickens and he doesn't close the door on the coop all the way, the next day when she notices a chicken missing she asks him where the chicken is and he says, I dunno, musta went on the other side of the road, stupid chicken, it's not my fault.