This is President Barack Obama. I just want to say a few words of thank you to all those good people out there who worked so hard to get me elected.

1. Can you believe it? We pulled it off.

2. Unbelievable. In a few short years, I went from a relatively unknown Illinois state senator to President of the United States without one government official, state or federal, asking me to provide documents that proved that I was born in the United States and that I was a natural born citizen. Can you believe it?

3. All I had to do in each of the 50 states was to sign some papers and take an oath that I was eligible to be president, and that was it.

4. When I took the oath, not one state official ever asked to see my legal papers to back up my oath that I was born in Hawaii and that I was a natural born citizen. Not a single one.

5. Unbelievably, all 50 states simply took my word for it. Again, can you believe it?

6. Just between you and me: Can you believe how naive those state government officials were?

7. Luckily, the U.S. Supreme Court hasn’t yet demanded to see my legal documents that prove that I was born in the United States and that I am a natural born citizen.

8. However, if the Supreme Court ever orders me to produce my long form Hawaii birth certificate, my birth hospital records,and my college records, we all know I am screwed.

9. But if the Supreme Court, for some terrible reason, suddenly decides to do its constitutional duty and asks me to provide legal documents to prove that I am who I say I am, I have some pretty good backup: I have all these great lawyers who will defend me to the death with any problems I have with the Supreme Court. (You understand I am not speaking literally about the “defend me to the deathâ€