Bienvenidos A Los Estados Unidos (Welcome To The U.S.)

June 30, 2011
by Ben Crystal


The Democratic-led U.S. Senate again is trying to push through the amnesty-for-illegal-aliens DREAM Act.

Thanks to the Herculean efforts of some very patient teachers, I speak Spanish. Well, I speak high-school-distracted-by-the-hot-chick-in-front-of-me-in-class Spanish. All right, I speak well enough to ask directions to the bathroom, and I can order paella without the waiter delivering a gang of picadors to the table. I’m sure I sound about as fluent to the good people of Madrid as the Scandinavians who have developed an affinity for visiting my town: “Yes, please, I am asking to directions to the River Street, and you are thank you telling me?â€