Thread: satire on legislature

http://www.ridiculopathy.com/news_detail.php?id=1855


>>Monday June 11, 2007
Bush to Import Mexican Lawmakers to Pass Immigration Reform

WASHINGTON, D.C.- Not since 9/11 have both parties in Congress been so unified. Even in the midst of this contentions pre-primary season, high-ranking lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have set aside their partisan differences to rally around a single issue: their common loathing of the President's immigration reform bill. Those on the left object to what they see as racial profiling for law-abiding Hispanic Americans while those on the right complain of de facto amnesty for 12 million illegal aliens. On Thursday, the so-called "Grand Bargain" failed a key test vote in the Senate that could send it to the back-burner until early next year.

Frustrated with this lack of progress and eager to put the controversial issue to bed once and for all, President Bush is making arrangements to import lawmakers from Mexico, part of what Bush calls a "free market approach" to immigration reform legislation.

"It's simple economics," explained Bush. "Just like landscaping and fruit-picking, passing immigration reform bills is a job that Americans simply will not do. I think the past two weeks have proven that. Besides, these guys will do the job in half the time and for a fraction of what our native-born lawmakers earn in salary and graft."

Not only are these undocumented legislators hard-working and relatively cheap, but Mexico's Congressional system of government, remarkably similar to our own, makes members of the Mexican Senate and House of Deputies ideal candidates to replace their do-nothing American counterparts.

To that end, the White House is getting ready to issue Executive Order 13420 establishing an ad-hoc "Guest Legislator Program." Under this new model, the President's emissaries will travel throughout America's border states picking up day-legislators for special work in Washington.

When Senator Harry Reid (D. Nevada) learned that he was to be replaced by Mexican lawmaker Jorge Ruiz he was reportedly so enraged that he crushed a beer can on his forehead.

"These unskilled, undocumented legislators are stealing our jobs!" he shouted. "We've got to do something to stop the flow of illegal immigrants to protect our families and our livelihoods!"

For his part, aides say House Minority Leader John Boehner openly wept when he heard the news, which should not come as a surprise since awkward public crying is his new thing.

As a side-effect, the President's bold move has caused a great many Democrats and Republicans to reconsider their positions on the issue. Nearly all of the Representatives and Senators we spoke with said they would still vote against the President's bill if it came up again, though for different reasons than the first time.

"I hate that it had to be this way, I really do," said Bush. "The way I see it, somebody dumped a big truckload of mulch on my driveway, and the people who are getting paid to help spread it out just aren't getting it done. I gave them a chance to pass my bill, and they blew it."

If all goes according to plan, the new substitute House and Senate will bring the issue to the floor by the end of this week and be ready to vote on the unamended White House bill a few days later, after which the President will immediately sign it into law- thus ordering them all to go home.
--Mark Arenz

While were at it can we out source the Presidents Job also, we need someone who will look after the interest of the United States citizens and Bush just can't seem to get the Job done or maybe it is a job he just doesn't want to do!!


Here's the link to the new fax for monday!! from our little wonder Kate!!

http://www.alipac.us/modules.php?name=F ... ic&t=67814

...or maybe it is a job he just doesn't want to do!!

It is definitely a job Bush does not want to do. The sensible thing to do is relieve him of his burden.

Bush hopes to revive immigration bill by emphasizing border security, say officials

http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2007/06 ... 144011.txt

Comments On This Story

Mark A wrote on Jun 10, 2007 10:01 PM:

" Not since 9/11 have both parties in Congress been so unified. Even in the midst of this contentions pre-primary season, high-ranking lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have set aside their partisan differences to rally around a single issue: their common loathing of the President's immigration reform bill. Those on the left object to what they see as racial profiling for law-abiding Hispanic Americans while those on the right complain of de facto amnesty for 12 million illegal aliens. On Thursday, the so-called "Grand Bargain" failed a key test vote in the Senate that could send it to the back-burner until early next year. "


Mark A wrote on Jun 10, 2007 10:03 PM:

" Frustrated with this lack of progress and eager to put the controversial issue to bed once and for all, President Bush is making arrangements to import lawmakers from Mexico, part of what Bush calls a "free market approach" to immigration reform legislation. It's simple economics. Just like landscaping and fruit-picking, passing immigration reform bills is a job that Americans simply will not do. I think the past two weeks have proven that. Besides, these guys will do the job in half the time and for a fraction of what our native-born lawmakers earn in salary and graft. Not only are these undocumented legislators hard-working and relatively cheap, but Mexico's Congressional system of government, remarkably similar to our own, makes members of the Mexican Senate and House of Deputies ideal candidates to replace their do-nothing American counterparts. To that end, the White House is getting ready to issue Executive Order 13420 establishing an ad-hoc "Guest Legislator Program." Under this new model, the President's emissaries will travel throughout America's border states picking up day-legislators for special work in Washington. "



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http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2007/06 ... 144011.txt