Thread: Proofing help needed on important release

Friends,

Our moderator and activist staff are stretched to the max right now with the DC operations.

I went ahead and put this important piece on the homepage, but we have not mass distributed it yet.

Please read it and post any needed error corrections here.

Also, any feedback, or comments are welcome.

Is it too long? Is the message clear? Something to add? Something to remove?

That sorta thing.

Thank you in advance for your help. This piece needs to be air tight fast for mass distribution.

W

Why the illegals must go!
http://www.alipac.us/modules.php?name=N ... =1&thold=0

Good.

I probably am not conversant enough to adjust the content of the letter, but it appears to be factual and at an approriate level of concern.

Grammatically, only two things stood out and they aren't that important;
1) under enforced should be under-enforced

2)"This fact remains despite several politicized polls that attempt to manufacture consent and make you believe such views represent a minority."
might better read
"This fact remains despite several politicized polls that attempt to manufacture consent and make the public believe such views represent a minority."

The letter is well-written. I hope it is distributed soon.

To take away the self-governance of Americans is to kill the very thing that has made us such a great and successful nation.

In a time of crisis like this, we must stand firm on the principles that have made America an attractive and great nation. We must stand firm on the Rule of Law. The law must be applied equally to big corporations and illegal aliens alike lest we all become slaves subject to the plans of masters instead of a free and empowered citizenry.

Illegal aliens and corporations must endure penalties for their illegal, deadly, and destructive actions that exceed the benefits they gain from their illegal activities.

The hour is late and it is time for Americans to stand up and say with one voice...

No Amnesty! No Guest Worker! Secure our borders and enforce the existing laws! Restore the American Republic!

The illegals must go.

Illegals go home!

Very Well Said! This article says what millions of Americans feel and the message is very clear! Excellent job!

I think the one thing missing is something that all ways catches peoples attention and that is money. 2.2 trillion dallors a year the illegals are costing the taxpayer. People don't like anything that hits their pocketbook.

The destruction of our schools, where our children should reap the rewards of an education since it is our money.
The mention of hospitals closeing down all over the country, and diease spreading like wildfire across our nation. etc.

The article is very good, I just felt it was missing a few important facts that are huge concerns to most Americans and things our government might truly understand, like the cost to American taxpayers.

W,
It looks good. I found only one minor error.
In paragraph two, remove the S from aliens.

The illegal alien supporters love to claim that our immigration system is broken. The system is not broken. Elite financial and political business interests that could care less about the death and devastation they are causing Americans have sabotaged the system. Their profits continue to rise as they send the rest of America spiraling downward on a path to anarchy and 3rd world quality of life conditions.

I also agree with SOSAD in the fact that more dollar figures should be used. Perhaps the latest numbers from the latest analysis from the Heritage foundation.

http://www.heritage.org/Research/Welfare/sr12.cfm

Thank you for the help folks. I have made revisions. Here is the final copy. Please let me know if you spot anymore errors


http://www.alipac.us/modules.php?name=N ... e&sid=2098

W