Well, we're coming up on Halloween again, the time of year when we all like to put aside our troubles for a day and celebrate all things dark and evil. And if you like to dress up in ghoulish outfits on Halloween and if you're looking to wear something a little different this year and something truly evil, then forget about the zombie masks and the vampire teeth -- go the whole hog and get yourself an illegal alien costume.

Not the racist orange jumpsuit and space alien mask with green card made by Forum Novelties that actually spooked real illegal aliens and prompted a protest from the Hispanic community in 2009.

The illegal alien cloak of death has to be the ultimate Halloween garment -- if only because its so versatile with plenty of pockets for stolen Social Security numbers, matricula consular cards, and Janet Napolitano's phone number for alleged human rights violations when arrested.

You could strap on a bundle of marijuana just like the mules do. You could be a protestor and demand citizenship and driver's licenses, or you could simply carry a sythe, machete, or better yet, Chagas disease to represent actual death. That would work very well, or if you prefer something a bit more authentic you could push a couple of babies around in a stroller with a sign saying NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL, or USA -- YOU WILL PAY.

In fact, every city in the US reflects Mexico City’s culture so you'll feel right at home: crime, murder, hit-and-runs, fraud, rapes, drunken driving deaths, self-jurisdiction of the 14th Amendment, schools filled to the rafters and in disarray, hospitals closing, infrastructure collapsing and prisons bursting at the seams.

The illegal alien costume is a remarkable garment in that it covers all feigned La Raza concerns while allowing the ugliness through. So despite the anonymity it gives (how could we possibly tell if you're an illegal alien?) you might as well be sporting a big ole' gap-toothed, pumpkin-headed MALDEF grin with a light of demonic UCLA professor, Los Angeles mayor, or Luis Gutierrez with snake-like face and rat teeth insanity burning from within.

But you know me, I always like to look for the good in everybody and everything, and one good thing about wearing an illegal alien costume is that it will significantly reduce your chances of being misidentified as a Right-Wing, xenophobic, racist, anti-immigrant American citizen.

And who could say that's a bad thing?

It just goes to show there's good to be found in everything if you really look for it, even in something as disgusting, treasonous, and selling people down the river as the shroud of cowardly male misogyny and androgyny in the upper echelons of the GOP and the rabid open-borders Atzlan hyenas from gerrymandered districts who populate the Congressional Hispanic Caucus and Munoz in the Executive Branch of the White House.

And by the way, I hope I didn't offend any Mexica movement with that remark. I know how touchy some of you girls can get when anyone criticizes open-borders Atzlan hyena supremacism.

Of course, you want to be really super safe this holiday, because you all know what dissenting American citizens are like, you'd be even less likely to get racially profiled if you went around inside a wooden box. You could put it on rollers, so that your feet don't have to stick out in a provocative and licentous way, although on reflection, that might be taking things just a bit too far.

Chances are you'd be perfectly okay with flu-like symptoms ready to close a hospital emergency room, but you may want to have illegal alien carpenters standing by just in case.

Now obviously nobody wants to cause offense or an uproar, so if you decide to wear an illegal alien costume on Halloween, you might want to distingish your Halloween illegal alien costume from the common illegal alien by blessing it with primitive supernatural powers like, I don't know, Nahual Aztecs and Mayan myths.

Something like that. Or you may decide that a Bank of America account is more appropriate. It really is a blank canvass. I certainly hope the idea takes off, because I think American society would be culturally enriched for a change if everybody went around dressed as an illegal alien on Halloween.

I think it would certainly help to lighten the rather creepy and sinister image of the illegal alien if we took the annual opportunity that Halloween affords to openly mock and ridicule them as the clownish symbols of Mexican entitlement, illiberality, menace, and the burden they really are, and that would inevitibly lead to greater mutual understanding of why taxpayers want this Class IV hemorrhage stopped before reaching exsanguination, which is something we all want in order to save the country, and who knows, it might even persuade ungrateful illegal aliens, Mexican loyalists elected to our offices, George Lopez, Carlos Santana, MEChA, the Mexican government and anchor babies to laugh at themselves -- well, there's a first time for everything, and why not? After all everybody else is laughing at them. Surely it would be devisive and drive a wedge between us if they were to exclude themselves from all the fun just because their Ingles is not so good.

Trite, biased, prosaic statements and angst are a bad combination, especially for the illigitimate. More illegal aliens have poured into this country than all the legal immigrants who came through Ellis Island in the four hundred years of this country. All subversives loyal to this out-of-control lawlessness, and who think Mexico first must be ordered to stop the meretricious them against us way of thinking, especially when it is they who are them.

It would be like getting rid of lead poisoning, or being an illegal alien -- or even dressing up as one for Halloween...