Musicians announce plans for "H1-B Aid"

Indian government plans for a special "Return Home Fund" for laid off Indian H-1Bs [1] have prompted plans for a special fund raising rock concert to be held by record company and popular music figures. British musician Sting, ex-frontman of the Police, told reporters "We have a tragedy of enormous scale here. Without proper relocation assistance these young HIndu geniuses are likely to waste away in some Yankee's basement, playing the same XBox games over and over again, never having a change of socks and living on a diet of Walmart 2 liter containers of diet Pepsi and Hostess Banana Ding-dongs. The prospect of seeing hundreds of thousands of India's 'Best and Brightness' wasting away into old age with nothing but "Friends" reruns to keep them company is a global human tragedy which must be prevented at all costs." Inlcuded in the concert line up will be Ringo Starr who will sing "All We Are Saying, is Give H-1B a Chance". Neil Young will also be doing a song about the environmental impact of unemployed H-1Bs: "Don't Cut Down the H-1Bs". Lighter fair will also be provided by the extremely popular and talented Sinbad the comic who will do stand up comedy routines with the theme "To H-1B or not to H-1B, that is the question". There are also rumored to be guest appearances by the moderator of Immigration Voice, Pappu, who will speak on the need to give the children of upper-caste Indians and their families hope in these times that their childen have been taken away from their gambling websites and 'Victoria's Secret" affiliate marketing e-stores. Henry "The 700 billion dollar man" Paulson will also be handing out special "TARP" relief blankets as a show of banking industry care and concern, and concert goers will receive one free blanket when they attend. Said Paulson "I get asked all the time, 'what did you do with all that "goshed-darned money"[2] and I think these blankets show that we are making this bailout work as well as keeping people warm at the same time. Since the concert will be held in North Dakota at the end of February, they are visible demonstration of the power of our banking system."


Notes

1.

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/New ... 093801.cms

NEW DELHI: The ministry of overseas Indian affairs (MOIA) is planning to set up a new fund soon, with an annual corpus of about Rs 10 crore, to help Job-cuts for H-1Bs who are on the 'Return Home Leg' of their India to American to India "Best and Brightness" Tour.

2. Not actual words used.