Thread: Guest Voter Program

Humor/Satire

http://www.ocala.com/apps/pbcs.dll/arti ... /OPINION01

Bush's last-minute plan to win immigration debate

In his boldest stroke to date to break the logjam over illegal immigration, President Bush has proposed a "guest voter" program for illegal immigrants that would make them eligible to vote in the midterm elections on Nov. 7.

Speaking at a press conference at the White House, Bush said that his "guest voter" proposal would allow illegal immigrants to attain full citizenship status for one day only.

"Illegal immigrants are important to this country, because they do many of the things that other Americans are unwilling to do," the president said. "Like voting."

According to the president's plan, undocumented immigrants would be bused to special "naturalization/voting booths" on Nov. 7, where they could become citizens for the day simply by pulling a lever.

"Then, when their work is done, we'll make sure they're back on the other side of the border by Nov. 8," Bush said. "Everyone wins."

But the program received mix reviews from congressional Democrats, many of whom believe glitches in the so-called naturalization/voting booths could lead to invalid election results.

In particular, critics complained that in an early prototype of the booth, the translation of the phrase "I want to be a U.S. citizen" appeared as "Vote for all Republican candidates with this lever."

Unfazed, Bush said he would move forward with this and other immigration proposals, including building a 700-foot fence around Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y.

Elsewhere, the Department of Homeland Security warned of more attacks after supermodel Naomi Campbell was released on bail.

Humorist Andy Borowitz writes for Creators Syndicate.

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