I was shopping at Home Depot the other day. They have these nifty little self-checkout lanes for people like me who enjoy being confused by supposedly simple computer programs. Aside from the fact that I always have to ask for cashier assistance when using one of these things, I usually use them because I enjoy the fantasy of making it through checkout without having to deal with one of these imbeciles. The worst problem I usually run into is the bag holder that weighs your already scanned items and refuses to allow you to go further until it senses the correct weight. Unfortunately, there is not always enough room on the bag scale thingy to place all of my items. Argh!

Anyways, I was using this genius device when it prompted me to select English or Spanish. I looked around to make sure I was still in America, and it appeared as though I was. I attempted to select English, but the little demon machine decided that I really meant to push the button for Spanish. About 2 minutes later the helpful cashier finished her conversation with one of the stockers and was able to interpret for me. I was luckily able to finish my checkout and even pay in U.S. dollars rather than pesos.

Dear Home Depot,

Please add a CTRL+ALT+DEL or at least an escape button from your Spanish language deathtrap machines at the self-checkout. Your English-speaking customers would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks,

BTM