Thread: How To Not Get Deported

How To Not Get Deported

By Brantley HargroveMon., Feb. 27 2012 at 10:48 AM

​So, you're an undocumented immigrant. Your great hope is to stick around, make a living and, some day, become naturalized. Unfortunately, our immigration laws are a tangled morass of inscrutablity insensible to the realities of a globalized world.

You may have watched last week's Republican debate in Arizona with a growing sense of foreboding as the candidatry swung its collective, penetrating gaze from America's kibbles-'n'-bits to border security. Presumptive nominee Mitt Romney endorsed Gov. Jan Brewer's American Legislative Exchange Council-penned immigration law, designed to do little other than line the pockets of private-prison operator Corrections Corporation of America by filling its detention facilities.

"You know, I think you see a model in Arizona."

It'll be bad enough if primary voters can stomach pulling on the Mittens of Last Resort, but even if they can't, the GOP -- these days the party of craven, isolationist xenophobia -- has a majority in the U.S. House of Representatives. And because the Democrats have neither the political will nor capital to do anything about immigration reform, you're stuck with the current state of things.

But it's confusing out there. Buzzwords like "prosecutorial discretion" keep cropping up. What do they mean? And how, above all else, do you stay in this country and out of CCA's privately run pokeys you keep hearing such awful things (rape) about? To that end, Unfair Park chatted with local immigration attorney Furqan Sunny Azhar. Here's what we took from the conversation:

Prosecutorial Discretion: "Immigration court" and "termination of charges" probably sound pretty good together, right? But don't get your hopes up. The exercise of prosecutorial discretion isn't going to get you work authorization or a green card or any kind of legal status. All it means is that they're not going to prosecute you ... at this time. It's a step in the right direction. A teensy, mincing step.

Maintain Your Vehicle: It helps to have a driver's license, but if you don't, make sure your tail lights, brake lights -- hell, even your dome lights -- are working. In some North Texas 'burbs, DWB (Driving While Brown) is probable cause. Don't give them an excuse.

Stay Away From Irving: No, seriously. The Irving Police have historically been pretty inquisitive when it comes to folks' nationalities. You know, while you're at it, stay away from Carrollton and Farmers Branch too. The police there have 287(g) agreements with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, metamorphosing every patrol cop into a de facto ICE agent (at least for now).

Avoid the Greyhound Bus: They do get pulled over and searched from time to time.

Don't Speed: Remember -- No Probable Cause.

Don't Drink and Drive: You really shouldn't do this anyway, but definitely not as an undocumented immigrant. Prosecutorial discretion will not apply when you go before the immigration judge. It'll be all aboard the bus headed to Oakdale Federal Detention Center.

Don't Beat Your Wife/Girlfriend: Again, something you shouldn't do anyway, but you'd be surprised how often undocumented immigrants get picked up for this. It may not be the politically correct thing to say, but if I had a dime every time an immigration attorney told that ... Perhaps the moral of the story here is to avoid boozing in excess and the stupid things you may consequently do.

Avoid Checkpoints: Avoid any kind, but especially the ones in South Texas and at state border crossings.

How To Not Get Deported - Dallas News - Unfair Park

Your great Hope is to stick around and Leech off of American taxpayers money, STEAL their Identity to "make a living", Protest when they want your Criminal butt to face your consequenses for your bad choice to engage in Criminal activity and Disregard their laws.
You have NO wish to learn English, and Certainly NEVER want to become an American, You are far to haughty and proud Flying your flag and giving the "bird" to the U.S government!

Unfortunately, Americas current government will most likely welcome your shameful butt, not only that, but "Excuse" every crime you commit, and seek loopholes to help you stay.

---Now, THAT is a more accurate way for this to be written

Many people like me will report your Illegal ass if we suspect you are sucking us dry with unemployment, free health care & schools, crime, and overpopulation! 15 MILLION unemployed Americans want you out of here and we will make E-verify mandatory nationwide, so better start packing right now and avoid the rush!

Originally Posted by cpz9

Many people like me will report your Illegal ass if we suspect you are sucking us dry with unemployment, free health care & schools, crime, and overpopulation! 15 MILLION unemployed Americans want you out of here and we will make E-verify mandatory nationwide, so better start packing right now and avoid the rush!

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Welcome to ALIPAC 2.0, cpz9

RELATED ..

How to Report Illegal Immigration

The immigration law that requires that aliens be documented for legal entry. Those who sneak into the country are referred to as "entry without inspection" (EWI). Others enter with legal documentation and then violate the terms on which they have been admitted by taking jobs that are not authorized or overstaying the authorized period of stay in the country.

Both types of illegal immigrants are deportable under Immigration and Nationality Act Section 237 (a)(1)(B) which says:

"Any alien who is present in the United States in violation of this Act or any other law of the United States is deportable."

If you have evidence of illegal immigration, we recommend you contact the main DHS Hotline for assistance.

1 866 DHS - 2ICE or 1 866 347 - 2423