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Bush to Move Lou Dobbs to the Mexican Border
Anchorman will serve as barrier to illegal immigrants
WEB-EXCLUSIVE SATIRE
By Andy Borowitz
Special to Newsweek


Updated: 5:50 p.m. ET May 17, 2006
May 16, 2006 - In his toughest stand yet against illegal immigration, President George W. Bush today announced that he would move CNN anchorman Lou Dobbs to the United States' border with Mexico.

The move is a reversal for the president, who one day earlier had announced that he was moving 6,000 National Guard troops to the Mexican border. The decision to dispatch Mr. Dobbs, Bush said, means that the deployment of Guard troops is no longer necessary.

"It is my belief that America's most powerful weapon against illegal immigration has always been and will always be Lou Dobbs," Bush said in a nationally televised address.

Speaking from his studio in New York, Dobbs said he would continue broadcasting his nightly "Moneyline" program from the Mexican border while keeping an eye out for illegal aliens trying to sneak across it.

Mexican president Vicente Fox, who was already concerned by Bush's decision to send troops to the border, was incensed today by the decision to deploy the CNN anchorman, calling the move "an act of intimidation."

"I could live with American troops on my border, but Lou Dobbs is another thing entirely," Fox told reporters in Mexico City.

While many in Congress questioned the decision, with some expressing concern about the cost of maintaining Dobbs, Bush strongly defended the move.

"It was a choice between building a massive wall and sending Lou Dobbs," he said. "Lou Dobbs was cheaper."

Elsewhere, media mogul Rupert Murdock threw his support to Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY), as was first reported in the Book of Revelation.

© 2006 Newsweek, Inc.
URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12817470/site/newsweek/


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