06/29/06
Bob Bowden column


Fireworks aren't a little bit illegal


How many times have we read this lately?: "What part of illegal don't you understand?"

Usually, the writer of those words expounds that "the law is the law. We are a nation of laws."

These noble words are most often directed at illegal immigrants. The writers of the words want the law enforced, by George. For those illegals, the mandate is...throw the criminals out of our country.

Now, this is just a guess, but I bet some of those writers are visiting tents this week, getting ready to celebrate their favorite patriotic holiday, the Fourth of July.

They plan to get a bang out of it. Literally.

Under those tents are enough explosives to put Baghdad in shock and awe.

Trouble is, those celebratory blasts are illegal for 99.9 percent of the population to use.

In the words of regional law enforcement: "If it goes off the ground or goes bang, it's illegal."

That pretty well makes off-limits the sophisticated aerial bursts, the loud firecrackers, the whizzy shooting rockets. That pretty well makes the entire contents under those tents illegal for my neighbors to purchase.

Ha. That didn't stop one group last year.

They put on a show from a few doors down that rivaled any put on by a coastal city. So much money went up in smoke that I thought the Medalin cartel must be financially backing the extravaganza.

In the middle of their "bomb-bast," a sheriff's car rolled up in front of their house, where dozens of young people were celebrating the Fourth with some cold beers and their own rocket's red glare and bombs bursting in air. I was too far away to hear the exchange, but the sheriff's car soon drove off.

It had barely disappeared around a curve in the road when a new aerial burst lit up the night. The assembled celebrants saluted with "oooeees" and "ahhhaaas" and carbonation-clearing burps.

How could they get such fireworks? All of the blasts were illegal under Florida law. How can illegal explosives be sold so openly? Simple. The miscreants sign a sheet of paper, that's how. They swear in writing that they intend to use the fireworks to scare off birds from their farm fields. Wink, wink. Ever seen a farmer set off aerial cluster bombs?

No, these buyers/users are people who selectively choose what laws they will obey. They must think Florida's law against fireworks, designed to protect people and property, is a bad law. They won't obey it.

Like illegal immigrants, they'll do it their way. And their way breaks the law. Why can't they be content to enjoy a community's fireworks show? Leave the explosions to experts.

Heck with that, they say. We're a nation of laws, I say. Anyone who doesn't like a law can work to change it. But don't break it while waving a flag and professing allegiance to our laws.

What part of illegal don't you understand?