Thread: Till death, or living in America, do us part

http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/nation/ ... tstory.jsp

Posted on Thu, Jul. 27, 2006

Till death, or living in America, do us part

By PATRICK McGEE
STAR-TELEGRAM STAFF WRITER

America's immigrants have more enduring marriages than U.S. citizens, but experts say they cannot be considered reinforcements in the battle to maintain the traditional family in this country.

Once here, immigrants get caught in America's culture of divorce.

"As they are assimilated and they learn our ways, they learn our divorce rate," said Diane Sollee, director of the Coalition for Marriage Family and Couples Education in Washington, D.C. "They catch up with our divorce rate. It's contagious."

A greater percentage of immigrants who become citizens are married than are Americans of the same age group. Far more immigrants, legal and illegal, come from Mexico than any other country, and Mexico has a dramatically lower divorce rate than the United States. Less than 9 percent of marriages in Mexico end in divorce, according to the Organization for Economic Development and Cooperation.

This is in stark contrast to what happens in America, where nearly half of American marriages fail. The number of single Americans living alone is now higher than any other type of household, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Twenty-eight percent of American children are growing up in single-parent homes.

"The values that many of these people have emigrating from Mexico are stronger than our own," said Elizabeth Marquardt, director of the Center for Marriage and Families in New York.

She said she's stunned to see so many children with their fathers when she drives through poor Hispanic neighborhoods.

But many Mexican marriages don't survive in the United States. About 12 percent of Mexican immigrant women's marriages end in divorce in the first 10 years, and about 41 percent of married women of Mexican ancestry born in the United States get divorced within the same time period, according to the Journal of Marriage and Family.

Marquardt and other marriage experts said marriage is important to society because research shows that married people live longer, are more productive and report being happier. Studies show children benefit from parents who stay together even if the parents are unhappy.

Social conservatives often cite the same statistics when they promote marriage as a pillar of traditional values and society.

But in some conservative circles, marriage is highly valued while there's less tolerance for immigration.

Bradford Wilcox, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia, said he has seen this in his study of marriage.

"Broadly speaking, the conservatives tend to be opposed to illegal immigration, and yet they're looking for more marriage orientation," he said. "I think there's been some tension within the Family Research Council around this whole issue."

Peter Sprigg, vice president for policy at the Family Research Council, said the Washington, D.C.-based group has not yet formed a policy on immigration, and he chose his words carefully when talking about the subject.

"We welcome immigrants from Mexico as long as it's legal," Sprigg said. "Our concern is with the disrespect for our laws and the lack of control of the borders."

Carlos Espinoza said a priest he worked with in California believes God is sending Mexicans to the United States in large numbers to restore the family values America is losing.

Espinoza and his wife, Lupita, who are from Mexico, previously ran marriage-strengthening programs in California. They moved to Haltom City last year, and this weekend they will hold their first retreat for married couples in this area.

Ten other married couples helped them organize the three-day Spanish language retreat at St. George Catholic Church in Fort Worth. The free retreat will be tied to Catholic principles and will include role playing, group discussions and workshops.

The Espinozas, who married 13 years ago in Mexico, have three sons, ages 6, 9 and 12. Carlos Espinoza said the marriage saved him from alcoholism. Lupita Espinoza said they drew closer to God when their first child was born weak with kidney problems.

Their marriage grew stronger, but they worry that others' marriages are unraveling.

"The culture that we are adapting to is changing us," Carlos Espinoza said. "We should fight more to maintain the marriage, to maintain the family."

The Espinozas clean houses and offices for a living -- and said they are shocked how many of their clients are divorced.

They worry that while America proves to be the land of opportunity, there are also negative aspects of the culture chipping away at the family units that were strong in Latin America.

Wilcox said Mexican immigrants have the lowest divorce rate of any racial or ethnic group in the United States.

George Doub, partner and cofounder of Family Wellness Associates, a marriage-counseling company in Scotts Valley, Calif., said religion and traditional values maintain marriages in Mexico, but so does a cultural acceptance of mistresses. He said adultery is less tolerated in the United States, where women have more rights and cheating is more likely to end marriages.

Wilcox said many Mexican immigrants move into poor neighborhoods where the divorce rate is even higher than the national average, and they're affected by that. By the second generation, the Mexican divorce rate has started to catch up to the American divorce rate.

"Unfortunately, second- and third-generation Latinos are often exposed to the worst in America -- a crass popular culture, failing schools, neighborhoods with too many fatherless households and poor job prospects," Wilcox said. "They're experiencing what scholars call downward assimilation."

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Patrick McGee, 817-685-3806 pmcgee@star-telegram.com

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© 2006 Star-Telegram and wire service sources. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.dfw.com

Carlos Espinoza said a priest he worked with in California believes God is sending Mexicans to the United States in large numbers to restore the family values America is losing.

Pardon me, while I regurgitate!

For anyone whose been here a while and has read some of my posts on divorce issues, I do not take this issue lightly. Too, I'm committed to the goals that ALIPAC endorses.

This article was sent to me from a marriage saving/divorce reform email newsletter I receive.

I have much to add later and have some things to criticize this article and its' reporter about.

For one, if the illegal aliens don't like certain things about our society, well they weren't invited here in the first place. While they may on average have longer term marriages and less divorce, I don't think their prolific procreations are good for the environment or economy. At least American citizens use birth control much more. Check out my signature line on overpopulation, please!

Second, I can think of ways that pro-open border far liberal leftists have also destroyed marriage and encouraged divorce in America and other first world nations. Can anyone say Socialism? They started this many, many years ago and not too long after Ted Kennedy opened the flood gates with a 1965 act to add gadzillion more immigrants every year.

Later! I just got back in town recently after being gone a week and am very tired.

Any comments or feedback on this article?

Dang, first i do a job that "American's won't do" then i stay married for 29 years....what the heck am i doing wrong?

Originally Posted by gofer

Carlos Espinoza said a priest he worked with in California believes God is sending Mexicans to the United States in large numbers to restore the family values America is losing.

Pardon me, while I regurgitate!

Good one, gofer!

Brian has some very good Emoticons that projectile vomit. I never looked for these myself or learned how to add Emoticons that were outside the ALIPAC forums.

Brian, you are being called upon to produce one of these, please. Don't fail us now!

Originally Posted by kniggit

Dang, first i do a job that "American's won't do" then i stay married for 29 years....what the heck am i doing wrong?

Kniggit,

You have been married for 29 years! What's the matter with you? Just kidding!

I was married once for 18 years and wasn't the one to cheat and abandon my spouse and children.

And you're doing a job that American's won't do? I recently heard this garbage spewed by a relative or two at a family reunion where I hadn't seen almost all of them for 10, 20 or more years. A husband of one of my cousins, for example, hires a landscaping business that employs non-English speaking employees (read: these employees spoke Spanish). They live in NY.

Originally Posted by kniggit

Dang, first i do a job that "American's won't do" then i stay married for 29 years....what the heck am i doing wrong?

YUP......and to several women all at the same time.
Now thems 'family values' x 2 or 3!

Originally Posted by noillegalimmigrationannie

http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/nation/15134321.htm?template=contentModules/printstory.jspGeorge Doub, partner and cofounder of Family Wellness Associates, a marriage-counseling company in Scotts Valley, Calif., said religion and traditional values maintain marriages in Mexico, but so does a cultural acceptance of mistresses. He said adultery is less tolerated in the United States, where women have more rights and cheating is more likely to end marriages.

Here's the key, folks, to at least one Hispanic culture! If you are a wife, just tolerate the mistress and everyone will turn out just fine, including the children.