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06-27-2019, 09:59 AM #21
babylonbee.com
Joe Biden Promises His Followers Eternal Life
NEW YORK, NY—On a talk show Monday evening, Joe Biden promises His Followers Eternal Life
June 25th, 2019
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NEW YORK, NY—On a talk show Monday evening, Joe Biden promised his followers he would eradicate all disease, pain, suffering, and that he would even vanquish death itself.
During a heated Democratic primary in which candidates have been tripping over themselves to offer their followers more and more outlandish promises and just straight-up cash, Biden made the promise to stand out and hopefully cinch the nomination.
"While my fellow candidates think they can cure cancer, the common cold, or smallpox, I myself will go one step further," he said, the audience of the late-night show on the edge of their seats. "I promise, here and now, to give everyone who votes for me abundant life, and life everlasting. For my yoke is easy, and my taxes are---well, they're gonna be pretty heavy. But still."
The crowd began screaming in joy, with several audience members fainting. Biden personally walked through the crowd and massaged several fainted women back to life.
"There will be no more debt, no more death, no more pain, for the former things will have passed away," he said tenderly as he took his seat once again. "I will wipe every tear from their eyes."
"There will be sorrow no more."
https://babylonbee.com/news/joe-biden-promises-followers-eternal-life?fbclid=IwAR2XtSw2tqs3z4fnWh1lr3VSSj_L49qr6V1M pcQT7ntprNL-gRiR0KYHoPk
If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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06-27-2019, 01:26 PM #22I didn't watch the debate. But, in reading the news reports, I can certainly appreciate this SATIRE.
https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-agree-loser-of-first-dem-debate-was-america
babylonbee.com
Experts Agree Loser Of First Dem Debate Was America
MIAMI, FL—Experts around the country and numerous poll results…
June 27th, 2019
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MIAMI, FL—Experts around the country and numerous poll results revealed Wednesday evening that the decisive loser in the Democratic debate was the American people.
A poll found that an overwhelming majority of respondents believed that America lost the debates by a wide margin, with 5% of Americans believing Americans won last night and a whopping 62% stating that "oh my gosh America is doomed." 33% elected to turn off the TV and just watch neighborhood cats fight instead of watching the debate once it became clear that America was going to get decimated.
"America really needed a win out there tonight, but only fell further behind," said one commentator, adding that he didn't have "high hopes" for the country's chances moving forward. "Things are not looking good for America's prospects in the 2020 campaign at this point. If America doesn't pull out a win tonight, we can only expect America to drop out of the race entirely."
"It's not looking good. Honestly, I don't know if I can watch."
https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-...inlQGeFyjKdN9YIf you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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06-27-2019, 08:39 PM #23
YouTube Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...Yw&app=desktop
Crocodile Tears
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The United Spot
Published on Jun 26, 2019If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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07-04-2019, 03:40 PM #24
babylonbee.com
Military Parade Marches Through DC, Crosses Atlantic, Takes Over England
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump's military parade, complete with military service members, law enforcement, and tanks, got off to a peaceful, patriotic start Thursday. Americans cheered and waved small USA flags as the parade went by, their feelings of patriotism swelling up.
But the parade got "a little out of hand" an hour in, according to witnesses, as the military members marched through the city, boarded some cargo planes, crossed the Atlantic, and took over England.
As revelers cheered on the tanks and they neared the end of the parade run, they boarded a C-17, flew across the Atlantic, landed in London, and annexed the United Kingdom.
"You can't really blame them," Trump said, shrugging. "They got a little caught up in all the excitement. It happens sometimes. They were just going with the flow. Oh well. I guess we could use the small island country as a military base or something. Maybe a new Trump hotel or casino!
"At publishing time, the military parade had also taken over Canada, Mexico, and California.
https://babylonbee.com/news/military...ODa_wL9f61i_lYIf you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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07-13-2019, 02:37 AM #25
YouTube Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwzI...t44YRJ9iwVsxDM
Meow
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The United Spot
Published on Jul 12, 2019If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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07-17-2019, 10:29 PM #26
YouTube Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye7zcKhjSvE
Impeach The President Now
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The United Spot
Published on Jul 15, 2019If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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07-19-2019, 09:32 PM #27People Who Have Screamed 'Racism' For Decades Wonder Why No One Is Listening To Them About Trump
July 19th, 2019
U.S.—Many on the left are extremely concerned with the racist behavior of President Trump, especially with recent remarks telling non-white citizens to “go back” where they came from, and are trying to raise the alarm bells about how harmful that behavior is. The problem is, no one seems to be paying them any attention, despite the fact that they’re very experienced in warning people about racism, since they’ve done it about absolutely everything for decades straight.
“I don’t know what’s going on,” said left-wing activist Ryan Weber. “Every day for years and years we’ve been yelling about racist things, from words to symbols to holidays to breakfast cereals to every single Republican ever, and we just assumed everyone was carefully taking notes every time we spoke up, but it seems like no one was paying attention at all.”
This is very troubling to the left, because they think Trump is even more racist than the usual things they have labeled as racist, but they’re not sure how to express that. “I mean, we compared John McCain to George Wallace,” stated Democrat Maggie Wilkins, “and I’m not sure who to compare Trump to in order to show he’s an even more worser racist.”
Activists are considering coming up with other words to express that Trump is a worse kind of racist. They considered “white supremacist,” but they’ve been using that a lot lately, so it would only mean to most people that Trump is as bad as the Betsy Ross flag. So they tried to invent a new term -- double plus racist -- to express how extra racist Trump is, but then remembered they already used that on Mitt Romney.
https://babylonbee.com/news/people-w...8EvuLFPQcq58A8If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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07-20-2019, 11:43 AM #28If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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07-20-2019, 12:02 PM #29
Trump ads should be starting now. The footage is all there...bring it up.
Those Democrats want to dredge up the past of Slavery...LOL...fight fire with fire. Dredge up THEIR past of what they have done to those people and continue to do to ALL American's. They have not progressed in the party...they are mired in hate for this country. All for votes and to line their pockets with lobbyist money and cartel money. Listen to their rich cronies and then invest in their companies for their wars and wealth. You better believe they have offshore accounts. They are two faced liars. They continue to lie to our faces every day with their rhetoric.
Show Schumer, Obama, Clinton, Pelosi, Feinstein...all of them against illegal immigration. Show their outrages tax plans, tax us to death, waste our money and NOW want us to pay for free stuff for every person on the planet who wants to flood over our border.
Then show that vile, ugly, Al Green and Cummings screaming at our Border Patrol and DHS agents.
They are truly pathetic.
Show ads of the filth and feces and needles in Austin, Los Angeles, Detroit, San Francisco, Houston, Chicago, Baltimore, New Orleans, all the Democrat run cities of festering filth and crime.
Those ads will be enough to make everybody #walkaway from that destructive party. And to demand we shut that border down and put a pause on ALL immigration for 10 years.
We have 25 MILLION people to deport...they are dumping millions more on our backs every year! We cannot sustain any quality of life if this continues.
22 trillion in debt and climbing! Print money for free stuff! It is not free.
We need at least 10 years of no immigration to clean up the mess the swamp has shoved down our throats for decades!
8 years of Bush + 8 years of Clinton + 8 years of Obama = 24 years down the toilet and 22 trillion in debt!
The last 2-1/2 years WASTED by their obstruction, money wasted on their witch hunts, they are out of their minds!
A quarter century of our lives have gone by people since Bush! You want to let another 25 years of this crap to continue? I do not!ILLEGAL ALIENS HAVE "BROKEN" OUR IMMIGRATION SYSTEM
DO NOT REWARD THEM - DEPORT THEM ALL
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07-20-2019, 02:36 PM #30If you're gonna fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark... and brother its starting to rain. Join our efforts to Secure America's Borders and End Illegal Immigration by Joining ALIPAC's E-Mail Alerts network (CLICK HERE)
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