Thread: Corporrate cutbacks (smile)

I found this posted by a blogger on another website, I thought it was hilarious, yet believable.


Joke Of The Day:
Retirement Aged Personnel Early

(This could work for the way the government treats taxpayers as well)

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for the Department areas, we are forced to cut our number of personnel.

Under the new plan, older employees will be asked to accept early retirement,thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent ourfuture plans.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed in effect immediately. The program will be known asR.A.P.E.(Retirement Aged Personnel Early).

Employees who are R.A.P.E.D. will be given the opportunity to look for other employment outside the company. Provided they are being R.A.P.E.D., they can request a review of the employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the operation will be called S.C.R.E.W.(Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).

All employees who have been R.A.P.E.D. or S.C.R.E.W.E.D. may file an appeal with upper management. This will be called S.H.A.F.T.(Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policies,employees may be R.A.P.E.D. once, S.C.R.E.W.E.D. twice, but may beS.H.A.F.T.E.D. as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If any employee follows the above procedure, he or she will be entitled to get H.E.R.P.E.S.(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance). As H.E.R.P.E.S. is considered a benefit plan. any employee who has received H.E.R.P.E.S. will no longer be R.A.P.E.D. orS.C.R.E.W.E.D. by the company.

I laughed so hard my jaws hurt . Then i got to the HERPES part !! That one had me on the floor

Very, very cute.

the truth is funny!!

I have got to save this one to send out in e-mails.....love it......thank you
I have now had my DOSE of laughter for the day......laughter is A GOOD THING!

THESE acronyms are KILLERS! So apt and so true!