R. Kent Nowviskie
August 12, 2007

The smell of corndogs and cotton candy wafted across the Corn State of Iowa this Saturday, as corny politicians made corny promises that dripped saccharine-sweet from their wagging, bragging tongues. The empty promises flowed forth like the sickeningly sweet high-fructose corn syrup that flows out of the cornfields of Iowa’s government-subsidized corporate agricultural conglomerates.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the candidate with the corniest promises of all seemed to come out on top. One-term Massachussetts governor and corporate bigwig Mitt Romney placed first, receiving an underwhelming 31.6% of the 14,302 votes cast. While the Romney campaign may be basking in the dubious glory of winning the vote at this less-than-critical state GOP fundraiser, a closer examination of the votes reveals that the results are ultimately embarrassing for the multi-millionaire’s campaign.

Romney’s efforts to prove himself King of the Hill in the Ames Straw Poll have cost him millions upon millions of dollars, and his campaign had invested months of effort in building up for the event. In the months leading up to Saturday’s festivities, Romney’s campaign hired sixty “Super-Volunteersâ€