Thread: Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at
Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three
children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview, She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hilary Clinton for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

This would be my letter:

Dear Abby,

How do I politely tell illegal aliens to go home and how should I behave when they don't?

Overwhelmed in Texas

I didn't get it...but I laughed anyway