http://www.islam-watch.org/Emir/Leaving ... window.htm

Leaving Islam: When truth comes in, Mullahs jump out the window

by Emir Reza

14 Jan, 2008
I was born in the early years of Islamic Revolution in Iran and just before the start of Iran-Iraq war. It is safe to say that the first music I heard must have been a revolutionary music, and the first face I saw on our black and white TV was that of Ayatollah Khomeini. I'm what they call "child of Revolution."

My Father was a simple clerk and my mother a house wife, both practicing Muslims and firm believers in Allah and Muhammad. No blasphemy was allowed in our house and we were perfectly convinced Khomeini was a holy man and a "favorite of Allah and His prophet." It sounds funny to me now but among my first childish drawings was the face of that old man, turban, beard and all.

When I was growing up in the capital city, Tehran we had two TV channels broadcasting for a few hours every day. Recitation of Quran, call to prayer, religious sermons, America- and Jew-bashing and more subtle forms of propaganda were the usual themes of our "entertainment." We got our first lessons in history of Islam from children's programs. While providing entertainment our Mullahs never neglected our "cultural education" either. Every week there was a single episode of a heavily censored foreign TV series, with dialogues completely reworked to show the wretchedness and boredom of life in the West. Or we had our locally made TV dramas aiming at depicting the true Islamic lifestyle and highlighting its values. These values consisted of eating less, giving more, being content with the "will of Allah" (which in practice translated into the will of Mullahs) and be ready to die for the cause of Islam. At that time owning any sort of video player was a crime. There was no satellite TV we had no other option but to accept the Mullahs' version of the world evens. We were ignorant beyond imagination.

At school from the day one we had a special teacher appointed by the Mullahs to teach us Quran and Islamic ideology. There were so many of these teachers and they looked so much like our parents. They couldn't all be wrong, we understood unconsciously. I remember quite clearly that when I was just 12 years old our teacher told us that it is permitted to kill a Jew. When we brought up the practical difficulties of killing a Jew he hinted that we may like to kill him first and leave the body in some inconspicuous place like our school lavatories. I had two Jewish friends at school. Fortunately I wasn't of a mind to put the instructions into action. We were still too young to take action by ourselves.

I used to carry a photo of Khomeini and Khamenei in my wallet when I was a teen. I prayed five times a day, fasted during Ramadan, attended our local mosque and listened to the preaching of our local Imam. I was well on my way toward fundamentalist. The efforts of Mullahs were beginning to pay off. But in my case it didn't work out so well, for the Mullahs.

My first doubts began to form when I was attending the preaching sessions at our local mosque. I found the language they used in speaking to "ordinary" people quite harsh. The Mullahs were arrogant, proud and haughty. At first I put this down as their reserve or one of the side effects and manifestations of holiness. But in transactions with ordinary mortals they treated us with disdain. What's more, I expected great comradeship among those ordinary young fundamentalist Muslims. What I discovered however was something bordering on homosexuality. At the time not having the remotest idea what homosexuality is and how a homosexual behaves, I mistook these overtures for a very special friendship in which you are supposed to stand very close to your friends all the time and stare at them in a very intense sort of way. This was doubtless the true spirit of Islamic brotherhood. Later however I found out that homosexuality is widely practiced in Islamic Madrasahs.

As I grew up I began to get interested in the details of Islam. I thought that I had to have good arguments ready at hand for the conversion of infidels. For this I referred first to Islamic books. Finding these texts enigmatic and beyond comprehension of laymen, I referred this time to Mullahs for guidance. Now to my great surprise and confusion our Mullahs were capable of a wonderful transformation of disposition. When they were preaching they were generally content and calm and moderately gracious toward their audience. However when in their presence anyone showed the slightest iota of "doubt" about any aspect of established Sharia law or Islamic practices and doctrines, he would let him understand in no uncertain terms and with sufficient signs of anger and a lot of finger shaking, that questioning in Islam is allowed only if it is intended to increase your conviction. Again I was encouraged to view this as the true spirit of Islam and following the example of Muhammad. I was told that Muhammad himself and our Imams were capable of falling into murderous fits of rage and displaying "outward signs of furious anger." At such times heads rolled, literally.

This sort of treatment, now I realize, is intended to intimidate Muslim youth into complete and blind obedience. Suicide bombers are apparently "trained" and prepared by this strategy. A good and pious Muslim is someone who execute orders of Mullahs. His brain must be used to find the best way of executing the order not for questioning its intentions.

So I was not a good candidate for fundamentalism. I questioned too much. I was given the cold shoulder and retired from fundamentalism without achieving any "glories in the eyes of Allah." Soon after I stopped my daily prayers.

Still I was a Muslim. I was inclined to atheism but there was always a strong "what if." After a lifetime of indoctrination it was next to impossible to renounce Islam completely so I decided to stick to Allah and Muhammad and Imams without bothering to pray five times a day or fasting during Ramadan.

This coincided with my entering university ostensibly to study English literature. In reality it turned out we were still on the receiving end of another volley of Islamic indoctrination. Here however the Mullahs were at a disadvantage. As I learned more of the language I realised that concepts like humanity and morality have totally different interpretations in the west. In Islam humans are "slaves of Allah", they are allowed to use their intellect only if it "hardens their belief in Islam." In the west freedom is cherished. In Islam morality is handed down from primitive Arabs. In the west you refer to your own conscience and use logical deduction in order to differentiate between morality and immorality. In Islam love does not exist. It's all lust. In the west love can be carried by a letter to someone thousands of miles away. Victims of trauma and rape are beaten and killed in Islam. These same people are offered therapy and support in the West, their tormentors prosecuted. No one pretends that every thing is perfect in the west. In Islam the iron rule works without a hitch, it's perfect.

By the time I was in my senior year I knew all these things but there was that prohibiting "what if" still there. From time to time, following my old habits, I would read some articles in the Internet about Islam. These articles, most of them good for a less scrupulous reader, were always insufficient in convincing me beyond any doubt that Islam is a fake religion. Last week it chanced that I was directed by a search engine to this website. The section titled "stories not told before" immediately caught my attention. I stayed up till 5 in the morning and read about half of it. I went to bed and woke up next afternoon convinced that I'm a Muslim no longer.

Here I must emphasize the importance of works like this in dissipating the remaining doubts of other would-be ex-Muslims. Cut off as we are from reliable information and scholarly works on Islam, and at the same time being aggressively indoctrinated from an early age, the need for similar material tailored for half-hearted Muslims and also ordinary westerners cannot be overestimated. True history of Islam is an effective tool that deals the final blow to Islamism by laying naked its thread bare foundations.

Tell the true story of Islam, save civilization!

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From what I've heard Islamic apostates who publicly speak out against Islam, not only endanger themselves, but their families "back there", because, just like any organized crime entity, some Islamic countries hold
the families responsible as well.