Thread: Jesse Welles Music | Interview on NPR

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Jesse Welles



Credits:
Channel: Jesse Welles
Published: August 2025
1:23 minutes

The Ballad of Big Balls

Jesse Welles



Credits:
Channel: Jesse Welles
Published: 8/29/25
3:23 minutes

Jesse Welles: Charlie



Credits:
Channel: Jesse Welles
Published: 9/22/25
2:13 minutes

Jesse Welles: 40 Days In The Desert



Lyrics:
40 days in the desert
40 nights in the sand
40 long days wandering in a haze
aimless
with no real plan

I know some men ain't got no hands
I know some men ain't got no eyes
I know some come back with their bodies intact
but they all lose a bit of their minds

40 years in the desert
40 years in the dark
is that all you get for yer money
a monument in the park

heroin and oil on holy soil
it's a crusader's dream
we're gonna get out pretty soon they shout
but they don't ever really leave

you tarry too long down in babylon
you'll get caught between the streams
yer best years passed turning sand into glass
now yer sons crawl thru the streets

I know some flags up on the mantle
I know some mommas got no sons
I know a whirlwind when I see one coming
we're gonna reap it as it comes

40 years in the desert
40 years in the sand
when I came down off of the mountain
I had nothing in my hands

and u know better than to ever wonder
uncle eagle tells the truth
don't u know that it's so unbecoming
to go out looking for some proof

Credits:
Channel: Jesse Welles
Published: 9/27/25
2:23 minutes

Tylenol



Credits:
Channel: Jesse Welles
Published: 9/29/25
1:46 minutes

Jesse Welles can See Arkansas from Seattle

Jesse Welles sings "See Arkansaw" at Barbozas in Seattle, WA Oct 26, 2024



Credits:
Channel: Terry Coleman
Published: 10/26/24
3:45 minutes

Jesse Welles - God, Abraham, & Xanax 10.18.25 Toronto



Credits:
Channel: Curlyfryanj
Published: 10/18/25
4:00 minutes

Lyrics

God said unto Abraham, "Take this Xanax bar
Don't talk no more about all of the war
And the cancer goin' on"

Next day, Abe'd thought he'd bring it up
At the local town hall
He said that the air's hard to breathe
And the water ain't clean
They said, "We're forwardin' your call"

He was on hold
For three days straight
When Jesus picked up the line
He said, "Don't question the guns
And if you wanna have fun
Just be grateful that I'm on your side"


[Chorus]
God made the planet
Man made the Xanax
Elon, get Mars ready
Saddle up a big-ass starship wagon
'Cause the bars are too damn heavy


Jesus said, "I got a friend down at Pfizer
He helped my buddy, Jordan Peterson
We'll get it in quick and we'll get you a script
You're gonna love the diazepam"

Jesus asked him when the head wound happened
He said, "It was somewhere in-between
A four-year degree and a-wonderin'
If Iraq had WMDs"

Abraham prayed up to the Lord that night
He said, "Lord, what am I to do?
All the bushes are burned
And the money's been earned
And the interest rates are through the roof"

[Chorus]


God sent an e-mail in the mornin'
When Abraham was all alone
Yeah, it buzzed so hard, likely scared him to death
It sounded like a Houthi drone

Thus, the Lord e-mailed unto Abraham
"Go see your PCP
I know that insurance is high, but so am I
And you know that you can trust me

When you're done, download my new app
And go see my therapist
You're gonna be fine, take yourself a double SRI"
Abe said, "God, if you insist!"


[Chorus]

Abe went down to the vape shop
While Jesus was restin' his bones
He bought a Very Berry flavor and it gave him a cough
But it was better than-a feelin' alone

When he got home, he decided
To give that new app a look
And now Abe learned to dance and he's shakin' his ass
But he forgot how to read a book

Abraham prayed up to the Lord that night
He said, "Lord, is P Diddy in trouble?"
God said, "You're gettin' it, Abe, that's a good direction
Let's get that dose to a double"

[Chorus]

Prediction Markets
Jesse Welles



Credits:
Channel: JesseWelles
Published: 4/24/26
1:31 minutes

Musician Jesse Welles sings about the news, to great fanfare

https://www.npr.org/2026/04/26/nx-s1...-great-fanfare

APRIL 26, 20266:04 PM ET

HEARD ON ALL THINGS CONSIDERED

By Daniel Ofman, Rob Schmitz, Tinbete Ermyas
11-Minute Listen

Singer-songwriter Jesse Welles has made a name for himself by singing the news.

NPR's Rob Schmitz speaks with Welles about his music and what motivates his creativity.