Thread: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

"Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' said California Senator Barbara Boxer. 'We can no longer stand by and allow people of inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.'

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S.Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of inability (63%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Said Senator Obama (D-IL): "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

(This was posted for entertainment purposes only, and as believable as it is, it's fiction)

Very humorous!

Apparently Congress and the Bush Adminstration at around 90% clueless and functionally unable would be the undisputed leaders in current statistics. More specifically, the FDA comes in at about a 99.9% rating.

If it's possible to have a negative percentage, I recommend FEMA.

INTERESTING -- I WOULD NOT HIRE ANYONE THAT IS NOT AS SMART AS ME.

WHY WOULD I HIRE SOMEONE AND DO THE WORK FOR THEM?

HAVE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE YOU CAN FIND IN YOUR BUSINESS; NOT THE DUMB DOWN EFFECT MENTIONED HERE

Originally Posted by vmonkey56

INTERESTING -- I WOULD NOT HIRE ANYONE THAT IS NOT AS SMART AS ME.

WHY WOULD I HIRE SOMEONE AND DO THE WORK FOR THEM?

HAVE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE YOU CAN FIND IN YOUR BUSINESS; NOT THE DUMB DOWN EFFECT MENTIONED HERE

I dont know, look at some of the politicians in office right now...Arent we doing the work they wont do?