Thread: Muslim Man Accused of "Honor Killing" Stepdaughter

Muslim man accused of killing stepdaughter in culture clash

Twenty-year-old Jessica Mokdad just wanted to live a normal American life.

But her stepfather, Rahim Alfetlawi, wanted to control her every move in an effort to force her to live his idea of a very conservative Muslim lifestyle, her family and police said.

Now Alfetlawi is in jail, awaiting trial on charges that he killed his stepdaughter. With his hands and feet in shackles, the Iraqi refuge who said he was a victim of Saddam Hussein's regime listened in court May 12 as his attorney, Richard Glanda, asked to have him examined to see whether he's mentally competent to stand trial.

The proceedings were translated into Arabic.

"He thought she was becoming too Westernized," said Macomb County Assistant Prosecutor Bill Contaldo. "I think this was a very nice young lady wanting to experiment with Western culture without control and without abuse."

Mokdad was born in Dearborn and spent her early years as a typical American child. She was a "girly girl" who enjoyed experimenting with clothes, hair and makeup, said her stepmother, Cassandra Mokdad.

"When she was around friends, she was always laughing," she said.

Jessica Mokdad's parents were divorced; Alfetlawi became her stepfather shortly before her ninth birthday. The family moved to Minnesota, where Alfetlawi forced his stepdaughter to wear a hijab and made her almost a prisoner in their home, said her father, Mohamad Mokdad.

Her mother told police Alfetlawi felt shamed by his stepdaughter's Western ways: She wore shorts and sleeveless tops. She didn't want to wear the hijab.

Jessica Mokdad also had a boyfriend. When Alfetlawi found out the relationship had been physical, he forced them to marry in 2009 in a religious -- but not legally binding -- ceremony in a mosque, Mohamad Mokdad said.

The couple lived in the Alfetlawi house, but Alfetlawi wouldn't allow them to sit next to each other on the couch, Mokdad said.

"The poor kid. I don't know how she just didn't go insane," he said.

She tried to escape Alfetlawi as soon as she turned 18.

In July, she moved to Grand Blanc with her father. Her husband joined her in August. She started Mott Community College and dreamed of becoming a social worker.

Then in March, Alfetlawi convinced her to return to Minnesota. She stayed about three weeks, then boarded a train and returned to Michigan.

On April 30, Alfetlawi told police he'd shot and killed her accidentally.

She was in Warren, helping her grandmother Diane Fauer clean out her recently deceased great-grandmother's house. Alfetlawi showed up and helped them pack. Then the trio headed to Fauer's house to unload.

Jessica Mokdad and Alfetlawi arrived first; Fauer was about five minutes behind. By the time Fauer arrived, Alfetlawi had already left for a police station to report that he accidentally shot his stepdaughter.

He told police she had felt the gun he carried for self-defense when she was hugging him. She tried to grab it, and when he tried to stop her, the gun accidentally discharged, he said.

The police and Macomb County prosecutors say Alfetlawi shot her execution-style.

Mokdad's mother told police that Alfetlawi felt so shamed by her daughter's Western ways, he killed her in an honor killing, Warren Police Sgt. Stephen Mills said.

The Muslim religion recognizes no such thing, said Dawud Walid, executive director of the Michigan chapter of the Council on American Islamic Relations.

"If anything, it should be called a 'dishonor killing,' " Walid said.

In any case, those who loved Mokdad can't believe she's gone.

"I thought it was a sick joke," her father said when he heard of her death. "Then I found out it was for real."

Contact Peggy Walsh-Sarnecki: 586-826-7278 or mmwalsh@freepress.com

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