Thread: News From the "Other" Border

News From the "Other" Border


The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration.

The unflinching arrogance of the Bush Administration is prompting the exodus
among liberal citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and
agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at
night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said M anitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I
said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my
screenplay."

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't
give milk"

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are
not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I
found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a pleasant
little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing
loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in
which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

Liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap
Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping
buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't
identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious
about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does
one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we
might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is
determined to reach out."

Lol 2ndamendsis . This will come as a shock to you. I am a liberal who has asked MoveOn, Reid, Kerry and the DNC to take me off their mailing list as I am leaving the Democratic party due to their position on illegal immigration.

This is not a liberal or conservative battle. Both sides have turned their backs on working America. Illegal immigration is an American battle in which we must all come together to save our great country.

DIANE! No shock........I've always believed that this horror scene is not a one party issue. I see it on our boards here. We've come together, united for our country regardless of idiology.

I see that as our being Constitutionalists, not Dems or Repubs.

Don't you think?

2ndamendsis, agreed.... this is one issue that is totally bypartisan. My family has always voted Democratic and we've always campaigned democratic. I worked the polls last election for Kerry.

I, like all of you, feel so betrayed by the majority of politicians. We still have some very honest ones like Tancredo and Sensenbrennon (spell check on that). But for the most part, we are united as a group of millions who have been sold out by a corrupt political system. We will join together and save our country.

I believe we have all learned to appreciate this great country and no way in h*** you, I and the rest of legal American will give it away to Mexico.... plain and simple.