Thread: Notice to All Employees

Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally among all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake."

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all."

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth." Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic."

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, becau se President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want, even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?) !!!

I know its supposed to be sarcasic, but it seems like this is what Obama wants for all Americans.

I would find this funny if the level of truth was not as high as it is. However, I just can't wait to collect my free new car. I mean, it is not fair that my husband and I share a 7 year old vehicle simply so we can afford for me to stay home with our son. I also don't think it is right that we felt we had to buy an old fixer-upper for a house. Just because it was what we thought we could comfortably afford. I want a really big new one, and let Obama pay for it too. Oh and don't forget the free illegal alien maid and gardener. I also want designer clothing! I mean, why should I have to shop at discount stores?

Actually, what fun and pride is there in basically stealing other peoples money? No thanks, I am happy with what we have here

Originally Posted by cayla99

I would find this funny if the level of truth was not as high as it is. However, I just can't wait to collect my free new car. I mean, it is not fair that my husband and I share a 7 year old vehicle simply so we can afford for me to stay home with our son. I also don't think it is right that we felt we had to buy an old fixer-upper for a house. Just because it was what we thought we could comfortably afford. I want a really big new one, and let Obama pay for it too. Oh and don't forget the free illegal alien maid and gardener. I also want designer clothing! I mean, why should I have to shop at discount stores?

Actually, what fun and pride is there in basically stealing other peoples money? No thanks, I am happy with what we have here

Very good point Cayla "what fun and pride is there in basically stealing other people's money? That is exactly what it is.