President Obama will encourage America's youth to wash their hands

Obama’s Top Ten Moments of ‘Feeling Alone and Not fitting In’

By John Lillpop Monday, September 7, 2009
-Satire-

In his first campaign speech since accepting Van Jones resignation on Sunday morning, President Obama will encourage America’s youth to work hard, remain focused, and wash their hands often.

The admonition to their wash hands frequently is particularly poignant advise for students living in Charles Rangel’s Congressional District and for those who live in the district of Nancy Pelosi, Rangel’s full time enabling nanny.

The president plans to include a ‘personal touch’ to his presentation, scheduled for September 8, including a confession that he too had moments when he felt alone and not fitting in.

Unidentified sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, have uncovered a list of the top 10 moments in which Barack Obama has felt the loneliest and most out of place.

That list includes the following:

Obama’s Top Ten Moments of ‘Feeling Alone and Not fitting In’

When a valid birth certificate is required to get a driver’s license, Social Security number, or whatever;

Whenever the Star Spangled Banner Is Played;

During his two swearing in ceremonies for the U.S. presidency when he was forced to swear to “uphold and defend the U.S. Constitution,â€