Thread: Say "NO" to Toy Drives

My Personal Experience with a Toy Drive

Every year for the last 10 years I have been sending out the same message about my PERSONAL experience with a Toy Drive. I made a promise that each year I would tell my story and let others make their own decisions whether they still wish to donate to this type of "feel good" holiday tradition.

In years past many people emailed to say they are of the same opinion, while a few emailed to tell me that toy drives do good work in their community. I merely ask that you read my story and choose for yourself if you wish to contribute your time and money.

Years ago I was employed at a large corporation that, due to my position made me a "public community figure". I was asked by a group, who is well known for their yearly Toy Drive, to join them in their efforts to bring holiday cheer to those less fortunate by encouraging others to donate.

This particular year I was a single parent, who was barely making ends meet. My kids were grade school age, and as all kids that age, they had a Christmas Wish List of toys they wanted. I had absolutely NO money to buy toys for my kids that year but, wanting to teach them the true meaning of Christmas, (that it is better to give than to receive), I had them help me with the duties for this endeavor. We collected and sorted toys and when the time came they helped at the distribution.

I was SHOCKED at some of the toys that were donated! Most were Barbies, stuffed toys, cars, and balls, but there were also many expensive electronic toys; Game Boys, CD players, an electric guitar, and bikes galore! Some of the same gifts that were on my kids' lists! It was easy during that time to tell them these were NOT for them, but for kids who had far less than we did. But then the time came to distribute the toys during the week of Christmas and all my good intentions and feelings of charity were dashed to pieces.

We managed to collect "mountains" of toys and we selected an "after school center" where we were going to distribute the toys to these "poor and unfortunate children". We arrived with TWO (2) rented moving vans FULL of toys. We came with some "celebrity types" and the media. When we walked in I expected to see kids run to greet Santa, but instead hardly a kid even raised an eyebrow. They had NO interest in getting these toys at all. The bigger kids didn't want to interrupt their basketball game and the younger kids accepted one toy and went off in a corner to play with it. Since the media was there and we still had a truck and a half full of toys to pass out it was beginning to look REALLY EMBARRASSING. So, we began to bribe the kids to line up again and again to make it look like there was a huge turn out. The club director excused the kids by saying this was their FOURTH (4th) toy give-a-away THAT WEEK!!! He said they had lost interest.

What finally did me in though was when I walked to the back of the gym area to use the restroom and I turned the corner only to find a group of boys who had a Barbie doll and they had lit it on fire and were watching it melt!!!

When the parents arrived to pick up their kids many of them told the kids to just leave the toys there. The floor was littered with leftover toys, many broken and discarded. When we left our truck driver said he was taking the rest to the Catholic church up the street. The following day he came in and said the church was taking them to Tijuana.

That year my kids did not get what they wanted from their wish list, but I learned a HUGE life long lesson. I will NEVER donate to another toy, food, or clothing drive ever again. I will only donate when I know EXACTLY whose hands it's going into and that they are truly worthy of it.

This year I am donating to Judicial Watch and to an animal rescue center.

Well that’s a horrible storey... There are exceptions to every thing I guess, but giving from the hart should never be stopped because someone doesn’t do what is expected with the gift given.

I know this will sound terrible, especially at Christmas time. I personnally have stopped giving to toy drives and some other organizations.
After witnessing a "school supply drive" to help the less fortunate, I realized that the Hispanic people were at the front of the line to receive these supplies. Many drive nice trucks to pick up the supplies.
I also helped deliver food baskets at Thanksgiving. Some went to really needy families, but others went to homes with 2 new cars in the driveway and a big screen TV, with kids playing video games. Some people take advantage of the giving nature of others. These folks don't need MY money.
It is important to check out these organizations. We have a right to know who benefits. I still give to homeless shelters and a few groups, but I personnally check them first.

OC, My brother used to work for a food pantry that did toys for tots type drives and was shocked at what he saw. Most of the "parents" came to the warehouse driving SUVs and Cadillacs. He also noted their ingratitude when they picked them out. A couple of people complained that there we no black barbies or other dolls. He also noted that they looked at the boxes closely. He finally figured out that they were taking the toys back to Walmart or whatever the store they came from for a refund. It really put a bad taste in his mouth.

Thanks for sharing your story. We used to donate to Salvation Army every year. This is the first year we did not. We don't trust that our donation won't be used for illegals, especially since they employ so many of them. This year we donated to a Russian orphanage program that helps the kids get jobs and find a place to live once they age out of the orphanage (usually age 16). We adopted our son from Russia (LEGALLY), so this charity made sense to us. It's sad that we no longer feel we can donate to charities here.

We no longer donate to any toy drives, instead we "adopt" families we know are going through tough times and become their secret Santa.

Well, I have to say that there are several avenues that DO help less fortunate children.

One of the BEST to donate to is C.A.S.A. (Court Appointed Special Advocates). http://www.nationalcasa.org/

I volunteered for them one year in putting together Christmas care packages for the foster kids they help. These are AMERICAN kids who have had a tough time in the foster care system. We didn't give any toys to them, for the most part: we were giving them essentials like toiletries, hair accessories, school supplies, school backpacks, etc. These kids go from home to home with usually only one bag, and very often are lacking basic toiletries. C.A.S.A. mainly has HUGE drives throughout the year to get lots of new bags and suitcases for these kids, as often they only have a trash bag or pillowcase to carry their belongings from home to home. It's very sad!

I have also volunteered at the Salvation Army at Christmas time. Every person they give to have to have an interview with a counselor, answer a lot of questions about their situations, and fill out lots of forms. It wasn't just "line up and get your free stuff." I don't know if they required I.D. or not, but I know they entered each family into the computer (I guess to track who is asking for what). I don't think it was that easy to fake your need. Most of the people showing up to receive their packages were obviously poor people. The cars were not SUV's or nice cars, mostly beat-up, old cars. So at least at this major center in Dallas, it looked like there was less of a chance of illegal freeloaders getting packages.

The Salvation Army also put together care packages for senior citizens in nursing homes: warm blankets, warm socks, books (mostly the Bible, in most cases), sometimes a hand-held radio with headphones, etc.

I do agree that the toy drives where people just walk up and get the toys is the worst kind of place to donate to.

Do your research and find charities that actually do a little legwork as to who they're going to give their donations to. Or find a place that deals exclusively with AMERICAN kids (like C.A.S.A.).

TexasGal

I stopped donating to the drives for toys and school supplies some time ago. There was a local drive for backpacks, coats, boots and sweaters for poor children. I had 3 backpacks that my kids had carried maybe 2 or 3 times. They were gifts and had hardly been used. I also had sweaters with very little wear that I had cleaned. When I brought theses items to the drive, I was informed that they were accepting new merchandise only!
I could hardly believe it. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. I was raised on hand me downs from my cousin- what is wrong with a sweater that was worn once? That was it for me. I am also real suspicious of the school supply drives because we have a number of stores like Target and Kmart where you could buy everything you needed for under $10. Alot of these folks probably take the free supplies then stop at McDonald's on their way home.
Now everything goes to people I know.

The business about new cars is also true in many cases. Last summer my daughter worked at a daycare program similar to headstart. They received gov. funding and most parents paid little or no tuition. I would pick her up each day after work and without exception every parent in the place had a newer car than I did, many had expensive SUVs. Now tell me again why my tax dollars are paying for this?

It is sad, but I it is probable that a large percentage of these things are given to the children of illegals. That is not to say I want any child to not have a Christmas - but if the illegal is stilll here in the US, they are doing well enough to afford Christmas for their kids.

On my grandchildren's school supply list was a list of things to be bought that didn't pertain to that grades supplies. It was under the title, 'for children who can't afford supplies' - or something like that. Now it wasn't a 'would you do this', it was presented as 'do this'.

My son asked if these supplies were for the children of illegals and they said, 'well, yes, most of them.' He didn't purchase those items.

I say find an organization you know does good work or find a family you know needs help.

Also, yes a gift given from the heart is never wasted, but sometimes it is misused in ways that cause harm to other people. That is true in the case of the gifts to illegals. Every little bit helps them stay here and whatever we give their children, they can send extra money back to Mexico.

Also, many illegals have discovered flea markets - big time. I would be willing to bet many of these toys will find their way to flea markets.

I'm to the point I don't give unless its to a needy family at church or to our local Salvation Army that helps people get clean from drugs. They do a really good job up here on this and has saved lives. Other than that, I won't even give to Katrina type things or others because there is no accountability and so much corruption. Millions, maybe billions have gone to New Orleans and for what?