Thread: You Just Can't Fix Stupid!!

You Just Can't Fix Stupid!!

Things that make you go..Hmmmmmmmm

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?
'
I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't
order a halfdozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook
my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?

'I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
today.

'She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no
clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When Iinquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ' Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied,'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker.Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I dunno. Doyou have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.'

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper.

What do I do?' 'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in 'Twister.' I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the 'cruise control' and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'

EIGHT
Police in Radnor , Pa.interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message 'He's lying'was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the 'liedetector ' was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.

The mother says, I just gave him some antkiller.....

Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?
'
I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't
order a halfdozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook
my head and ordered six McNuggets.

Well...at least this one spoke English ( I assume)! One out of two ain't bad for McDonalds...

I LOL when I read the one about the divider at Walmart.

Hey AirborneSapper7 how bout this?


2 weeks ago I was at olive garden eating lunch and this guy kept waiting for his wife and kid well he waited for like 20 mins, and we were leaving so I am walking out and this woman is pounding on her window form the INSIDE of her car yelling at her 5 year old that had the keys Outside the car and I walked up and the woman is telling me to take the keys from her kid and let her out of the car?!!! She said she was Locked In??? I told her to pull the handle and walla the door opened!!! I have never laughed so hard in a while.

Got a few more stupidities:
A lady I had sold a house to in Ft. Myers Beach FL (a tiny barrier island in the Gulf) was protesting the terms of her mortgage requiring her to get flood and windstorm insurance, because she believed these barrier islands had ordinances against hurricanes.
A friend of mine, working at the International Marriot in DC as a bartender could not believe how many conventioneers ordered Perrier with water. Well at least they weren't getting drunk.
When I was running a restaurant, a threesome at one table requested white Zinfandel, and when the waitress brought the bottle and poured it, one of the women demanded another bottle, because of the pinkish blush. I had to go out an explain why white Zinfandel is pink as it includes the coloring of the skins.
Then, another time at the restaurant, a lady demanded to see me to refuse to pay for her quiche, as they had just been to New York and the quiche was twice as thick. "Don't worry, honey, people in Ohio don't really know how to make quiche either." I never made deep-dish quiches, but rather those in pie shells.
There are plenty of ding-dongs around, but what really worries me is the ding-dongs are getting younger, thanks perhaps to our inadequate education system.

Airborne

You really come up with some funny stuff. Its a relief after reading all this other stuff we read.

LOL..........I feel like Einstein!

I've had a few stupid moments in my life, but these had me laughing!!

She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
>
> She writes:
>
> Dear Grand-daughter,
>
> The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
Honk if you
> love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day
because I
> had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a
thunderous
> prayer meeting.
>
> So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
>
> Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.
>
> I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about
> the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had
changed. It
> is a good thing someone else loves Jesus, because if he hadn't honked,
I'd never
> have noticed.
>
> I found that lots of people love Jesus!
>
> While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then
> he leaned out of his window and screamed,
>
> 'For the love of God! '
>
> 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
>
> What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
>
> Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started
waving and
> smiling at all those loving people.
>
> I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
>
> There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling
> something about a sunny beach.
>
> I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in
> the air.
>
> I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
>
> He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
>
> Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave
> him the good luck sign right back.
>
> My grandson burst out laughing.
>
> Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
>
> A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got
> out of their cars and started walking towards me.
>
> I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I
> noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and
sisters
> grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
>
> I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the
> light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them
after all the
> love we had shared.
>
> So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian
> good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
>
> Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
>
> Will write again soon,
>
> Love, Grandma