Thread: How to deal with Ignorant Friends and Family Members?

I'm sure many of you have been asking this same question. And the reason what prompted me to present my question is for this reason. This last Sunday we joined my brother-in-law and his wife for dinner. While in route my brother-in-law mentioned that three homes in his neighborhood have been put up for sale. My husband mentioned that he had better hope that the banks don't sell to illegals. When the noise level in the car reduced down to zero. It was our que that we had brought up a touchy subject. Anyhow we both proceeded to share how major San Diego banks are giving home loans to illegal aliens. Both turned and looked at us like we were nuts. Both my brother-in-law and his wife are highly eduacted people but totally ignorant with what is going on with the illegal immigrant issue. The Super High Way just goes right over their heads. Even though I have sent numerous emails about the project. How are many of you dealing with this issue with your friends and family members? Sometimes I feel like a charcter playing a role in the Twlight Zone. What is it going to take to get people to remove the blinders

bearpaw,

Seems like they have to be directly effected. Wait until one moves into the neighborhood or has a car wreck with one of their co-workers... I hate to say it but direct impact seems to be the answer. Just keep talking and they will catch on. Coming on too strong spooks people and they just can't admit it's that bad. Denial...

Dixie

Dixie,

My brother in-law knows that my husband and I attend rallies supporting the shut down of the day labor sites. So he knows our stance on the issue. We've even had open discussions about the illegal alien problem. But you're right until the issue affects them directly. They'll turn a blind eye. Like Dr. Phil says, you have to name it to claim it. Which also translates to acknowledgement and getting invloved.

bearpaw,

My family is against illegal immigration, EXCEPT my husband, who is currently sitting on the fence about it. This is a contentious issue for us that could (if we let it) put a strain on our marriage.

I made the comment once that the illegal Mexicans "breed like flies" and my husband said it was a racist statement. Since then I never bring the subject up with him.

Unfortunately, however, while my family doesn't like illegal immigration, they're content to sit by and let it happen, and they get sick of hearing me rant about it. I've even been told (right before family gatherings) that no "illegal alien" discussion will be allowed.

See how much I NEED you guys!!!

bearpaw:

One of my daughters has a masters degree in Biostatistics (whatever the heck that is). She's currently getting a masters degree in Teaching.

I have tried on numerous occasions to talk to her about immigrant problems. She knows (obviously) about the troubles her nephew had back in Michigan.

Despite all the facts and documentation that I have presented to her to read, she STILL waffles on this issue. Her last kick is "well, the kids are innocent and shouldn't be punished".

I have several other friends who have Masters Degrees, or even PhDs. who also can't see it.

I've come to a rather startling conclusion:

Bluntly, the more book learnin' you got, the less common sense you got.

Is that what colleges do -- teach them to be so liberal-minded that they can't see the forest for the trees??

Voltare (philosopher) said (way back when)

COMMON SENSE IS NOT SO COMMON.

Boy, ain't that the truth!!!!!!!!

For some people I know, I think it's because it involves taking action and fighting it and most people just want to stay in their comfort zone - bury their head in the sand until, as you say, it affects them directly. Confronting the truth and solving problems isn't easy, so they shy away from it. That's too bad, but it's kinda human nature. They won't get off their duff until they have to.

I saw the impact first and just like many said "they can't be doing this!' "there must be a law!"...........when my husband said wake up it's happening anyway......I just didn't beleive it. NOT MY GOVERNMENT! NOT MY COUNTRY! So....he just bitched and showed me articles in the paper. He just bitched. Didn't want to get involved. I said bitching is nothing......we have to DO something and that's how I came to this. He still just bitches and doesn't want to get involved, because he has such distrust in the government and no faith at all in the American people. So we argue because I want to DO something. He is afraid. So am I.....but I take being an American citizen a more hands on job. He beleives we're already bought and sold and that what we're doing is too little too late. He waits to see when the government is going to haul me away because I got involved.

My children see their friends who are children of illegals and their passion lies with why should they pay for their parents or the governments failure.
You do what you have to do.....shut-up.....don't rock the boat. No big deal. Why make a mountain out of a mole-hill? Why can't we all just sing kumbuya and be happy? Go with the flow mom coz going against it is going to be worse.

I still don't have the answer. I just know for me....my husband uses this as an excuse not to do anything. Easy way out. I'm a failure coz they won't let me be a success. My kids don't know or understand long term effects and just see 1 thing at a time and don't see how they all work together.

The battle still wages.

Originally Posted by CheyenneWoman

Is that what colleges do -- teach them to be so liberal-minded that they can't see the forest for the trees??

Yes, unfortunately, that is what colleges do. Our educational system is ruled by liberals who preach their viewpoints to the students. Go take some college classes and you'll see what I mean.

I went back to college to get my degree in the late 90's and you should have heard the professor in my International Business class talk about how wonderful globalization would be. Nice idea on paper, in practice, not so.

It's people like this I fear more than anything. They'll be making voting and decissions based on ignorance vs knowledge. After the April marches I too could have looked the other way. But my conscious wouldn't let me. My conscious also tells me to keep talking and sending my emails. Perhaps years from now I'll be thanked for speaking up.

Nice idea on paper, in practice

Theories are like that. Great idea on paper but not in practice. You used to smile at people and they smiled back. Your supposed to tell your kid NO and they are supposed to say OK. You treat people nice and they will treat you nice. Theories are wonderful......unfortunatly, not fact.

Globalization was supposed to bring poverty UP TO us....and end poverty.......not us DOWN to them and create MORE poverty.

Iwas told TRUTH is only the TRUTH when it applies to every situation. There are no exceptions. Then......science here.....there's only what 2 or three facts of nature.......matter can not be created or destroyed, only changed........and something to do with equal force and resistance.....? I forget after that. The rest we're playing with. Anything more a theory....anything less, an excuse.