Thread: How you can cash in on new illegal immigration

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Column: How you can cash in on new illegal immigration legislation
John Bambenek
Posted: 6/16/06
During last semester's immigration protests in Champaign, the migrant community wanted to be accepted as Americans and treated as equals. The United States Senate has gone well above and beyond anything they asked for.

The Senate bill will not only grant amnesty, it will actually reward immigrants for braving the desert illegally. Far from being treated as the equals of Americans or legal immigrants, the package offered to them surpasses even the rights and privileges enjoyed by citizens who have lived here for decades.

First, under the bill, illegal immigrants will need to pay three out of the last five years of back taxes to the government. Or, to put it another way, every illegal immigrant gets a two-year break from paying taxes.

Second, the bill would require that they are paid the "prevailing wage" (much higher than minimum wage) for agricultural work. Also, they are granted job protection measures in federal law far beyond what is available to normal Americans and legal immigrants who can be fired for any reason or no reason at all.

Third, they can be paid Social Security benefits based on their employment in the United States while using forged Social Security numbers. With 40 million people having used the Social Security number 000-00-0000, it is clear this measure will generate massive fraud and accelerate the bankruptcy of Social Security.

Many pundits have complained that the proposal to lavish money on illegal immigrants is pandering at its worst. However, instead of complaining about legislators trying to buy new voters, there is a far better solution to this congressional excess. Become an illegal immigrant, too.

Here's how: Take a vacation to Mexico and stop by a U.S. embassy there. Renounce your citizenship and give them your passport. Then travel back to the United States using your driver's license or birth certificate. Congratulations, you are now an illegal immigrant - your La Raza membership card is in the mail.

To take advantage of the two-year tax holiday, return to your job and get a new W-4. In box 7, write "exempt." Do the same for your Illinois W-4. This will stop all tax withholding from your paycheck. Alternatively, get your employer to pay you on a 1099, which has no tax or other withholding. Stop filing tax returns.

Then apply for the amnesty program which will require you to pay back taxes for three of the last five years (which you've already paid). You have now legally evaded taxes for two years.

Now, as an illegal immigrant from Mexico, you can demand affirmative action to get into grad school ahead of those equally qualified (or even a little more qualified). Out-of-state students take note; you can now demand in-state tuition.

Some might say this is cheating the system. I say it is demanding your fair share. The defining image of this nation is an outstretched hand waiting to be paid. It's time we all cash in on the entitlement culture before the government's checks start to bounce.
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© Copyright 2006 The Daily Illini

I lived near this area from 1977 - 1980 and from 1981 - 1984 when I was in the military. Once you get outside of Champaign/Urbana or out of any of the little towns, it is cornfields as far as the eye can see. Not one time during my stays in Illinois can I recall seeing "migrant" workers. In 2004 I went back for a reunion at the old base and "migrant" workers were all over the place.

That is providing I made it to the place I need to go in Mexico before I was jumped and had all my documents stolen. Sounds like a plan though. Again though....by that time it got to my turn, they'd change the rules. I don't do criminal activity well. I got some guardian angel or something that just doesn't let me slide on anything.

I think that is a fine idea. Who is up for a road trip. We can have a caravan to Mexico and the first US embassy we can find. There is safety in numbers so we can fight off anyone who bothers us. Then we get to come back and get all the benefits American citizens do not get.

crazybird - I have the same problem. That little voice in my head never shuts up about how I have to do things the right way.

I think I will send this to my congressman and see what he thinks.

Who is up for a road trip. We can have a caravan to Mexico and the first US embassy we can find. There is safety in numbers so we can fight off anyone who bothers us. Then we get to come back and get all the benefits American citizens do not get.

I'm up for a road trip. Once past Tijuana it's really quite a scenic drive along the coast. And since I live within about 20 miles from the border. We could meet rent a van and head south.

Second, the bill would require that they are paid the "prevailing wage" (much higher than minimum wage) for agricultural work. Also, they are granted job protection measures in federal law far beyond what is available to normal Americans and legal immigrants who can be fired for any reason or no reason at all.

Maybe it's just me........but personal experience is they already got paid more . Alot more. They give this illusion that these guys are out there 24/7 working for 50 cents an hour. They are making good money! Put it this way......more than I ever made and I didn't have benefits and it was always just a tad too much to qualify for food stamps or anything so they're sitting well. And now you KNOW if this passes you may as well forget anything coz the red carpet will be out for them.

'I don't do criminal activity well. I got some guardian angel or something that just doesn't let me slide on anything."

THAT is the defining difference between illegals and their supporters,
and those patriots who want the law of the land upheld.

Some of these benefits may be easy to give away since there existence may not even exist in the near future. In an interview CA state treasurer Phil Angeldes had this to say:

Angelides: Let me just expound on this a little. I believe President Bush is running deficits in Washington very deliberately. His plan is to finally run up so much debt that it inevitably creates pressure on the funding of things that count, in terms of the long-term strength of the society: educating kids, retirement security for American families. A mini version of that is going on in Sacramento.

http://basie.blogspot.com/2005/05/basie ... -phil.html

Angelides: Let me just expound on this a little. I believe President Bush is running deficits in Washington very deliberately. His plan is to finally run up so much debt that it inevitably creates pressure on the funding of things that count, in terms of the long-term strength of the society: educating kids, retirement security for American families.

As frightening as it is, I do believe Mr. Angelides has hit the nail squarely on the head.

There's only one problem with this plan, the going rate to be smuggled into the US is $2,000, and I could make $5,000 a month just for not looking out my bedroom window.
My problem is I refuse to sell out my country!