Scrappleface

ILLEGALS SWARM OVER WHITE HOUSE FENCE TO APPLY FOR OTHER JOBS 'NO AMERICAN WILL DO:' "In a symbolic gesture of the new White House attitude, Mr. Bush offered to dump other loyal staffers in exchange for more positive press coverage as well as Congressional action on some of his policy initiatives."

April 28, 2006
Cops to Greet Alien Rallies with Civil Disobedience
by Scott Ott

(2006-04-2 — As May 1st draws near and America prepares for the hardship and suffering of “A Day without Illegal Immigrants”, the Justice Department announced today plans to mark the protest movement with its own act of civil disobedience.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he’ll encourage federal, state and local law enforcement on Monday to respond to illegal immigration rallies by observing “A Day without Miranda Rights” followed by “A Month without Habeas Corpus” and “A Year without Bail.”


April 20, 2006
Campaign Promotes Work by ‘Extra-Legal Americans’
by Scott Ott

(2006-04-20) — Following nationwide arrests this week of 1,000 undocumented workers and their bosses at a German-based U.S. company, a coalition of employers who depend upon such low-cost labor today launched a public relations campaign designed to increase consumer appreciation for what it called “extra-legal American labor”.

The campaign hearkens back to one run by the International Ladies Garment Workers Union in the 1970s, and will kick off with TV commercials showing mostly-Hispanic non-citizens, in their work clothing, singing ‘Look for the Alien Label’.

The effort will capitalize on the recent outpouring of sympathy for the people who do jobs no American will do. Members of Firms Encouraging Non-Citizen Employment have placed distinctive labels on their products, advertising and literature that say “Alien Labor Makes it Bueno”.

A press release from the business coalition included a copy of these lyrics:

Look for the alien label
when you need something
no gringo will do
Remember somewhere an alien’s mowing,
his wages going to Mexico,
where they love you.
We work hard, but who’s complaining?
Thanks to the I.N.S. for paving the way!
So always look for the alien label,
it says we’re able to break into the U.S.A.!

UPDATE: Click to listen
http://www.scrappleface.com/SNN/RogerHe ... _LABEL.mp3


October 23, 2003
Feds Raid Wal-Marts to Arrest 60, Leave with 300
by Scott Ott

(2003-10-23) — Federal agents raided Wal-Mart stores in 21 states intending to arrest 60 illegal aliens, but instead they left the stores with 300.
“You know how it is with Wal-Mart,” said an unnamed spokesman from the federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement office. “You go in there to buy some toilet paper and a jug of milk, and you wind up with a full cart. If we’d have sent our wives on these raids, they would have arrested 900 illegals.”