Thread: Letter to your Senator (Humor, but ........

sometimes, the most honest things are said in jest. This may have been around a few times, but this is the first time I've seen it - it's great.

(Date)

The Honorable (your Senator)
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator (Name),

As a native of (your state) and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill that was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.

Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for my family and me because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my (daughter/son) would receive preferential treatment relative to (her/his) college applications.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.


Your Loyal Constituent,

This is great, June. After everyone sees it, I'll post it under our new "Letters From the Edge" thread so that people can copy, paste and send it. Would that be alright with you ?

That's great!!!!!

I like it and will use it.
Thanks!

Oh, it is absolutely wonderful!!! I love it!!! That reminds me of another one that deserves posting.

Here it is. I'm sure you all have probably seen this - but I do love it.

MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO

David M. Bresnahan
April 1, 2006
NewsWithViews.com

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family,
and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across
the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few
arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the
same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that
I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting
the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the
flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy
access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any
effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the
memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all
police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals
on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not
want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would! also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes,
and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice
and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might
place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these
things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am
sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
nicely.

However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail
hunting with your V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,

David M. Bresnahan



2006 David M. Bresnahan - All Rights Reserved

CheyenneWoman,
I recall seeing that letter before, great one it is.

All articles should have a link.

Here is the Bresnahan News with Views sight where the letter appears.

http://www.newswithviews.com/Bresnahan/david6.htm

Originally Posted by LegalUSCitizen

This is great, June. After everyone sees it, I'll post it under our new "Letters From the Edge" thread so that people can copy, paste and send it. Would that be alright with you ?

That's more than alright with me. It would make my day if every Senator who voted for the Bill gets thousands of copies of this letter.

In a way, you could say it's our civic duty!

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.

You gotta love it.