Thread: Ted Kennedy Casts 15,000th Vote: Woe Unto US

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Over the past 45 years, Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) has cast 15,000 votes, nearly all of which have been against the interests of the American people.

In retrospect, allowing Osama bin Laden to vote in Kennedy's place would have resulted in far less damage to America's democracy, economy, and freedom.

Pity that the Senate does not control voting with the sort of device that prevents intoxicated people from driving. Were such an innovation in place, Kennedy would have recorded less than a dozen votes over that 45-year period, and America would be much safer.

In addition, nearly all liberal legislation would have failed.

15,000 votes fueled by 15 Martinis per vote! That is about right considering Kennedy's burping -voting record.

And that does not include drinks downed by the senator while driving off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island in 1969, a disaster that claimed the life of a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne.

My how values have changed.

In 2007 the nation is burdened with a 62-year old senator who has yet to be "potty trained" and who thinks its cool to plead guilty, resign, then withdraw his resignation and his guilty plea. Small campaign budgets will drive some politicians to the edge just for free publicity.

In 1969, we had a drunken senator who thought it was cool to drown a young lady and avoid justice because his name was Kennedy.

Talk about a culture of corruption!

Still, there are members of the Senate who chose to say kind words about Kennedy to commemorate his 15,000th mistake.

Most of those voting to honor Kennedy have family and friends who are bartenders, drunk tank operators, and colleagues who understand what it means to be a member of the most ravaged minority in America: Drunk millionaires.

That is what being a Kennedy is all about!

Most of those voting to honor Kennedy have family and friends who are bartenders, drunk tank operators, and colleagues who understand what it means to be a member of the most ravaged minority in America: Drunk millionaires.

That is what being a Kennedy is all about!

I would hold that assessment from JFK. He tried to warn us all about what is happening now. Sure, he made some mistakes, but he didn't try to railroad us into something we all don't want..like his Ted 'The Swimming Liar' brother. To judge JFK with that same statement is not fair. There once were some really decent dems as was there repubs. JFK drank but was not what most would call a drunk.