Request for Illegal Alien Status from a Citizen of California


The Honorable Barabara Boxer

309 Hart Senate Office Building Washington DC , 20510


Dear Senator Boxer,

As a native Californian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

From what I understand, as an illegal alien, the bill you voted on would allow me be paid at a wage level above that of legal Americans and not whatever prevailing wage the employer wishes to pay. Thus I would make more money than the legal American person working next to me doing the same job.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my figures show I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that I could receive preferential treatment relative to admissions to college as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States.

Lastly, I understand that illegal alien status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license, paying for yearly car registration fees and making those burdensome car insurance premiums or obeying those ridiculous CA SMOG requirements.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Name Withheld